Advice for parenting autistic 4 yr old

[Bekindtoall]

Hi all,
Im looking for some advice on how to help my 4 year old DS who is autistic.
He is verbal, but not in a regular conversational sense, he can communicate his needs but a lot of his speech is echolalia, just repeating phrases and paragraphs off TV, over and over again.
He is very over friendly and has no social boundaries, he wants to speak to everyone, hug everyone, play with everyone, and doesn’t understand why this isn’t reciprocated. At his age now, his differences are more obvious, and other children in the park don’t want to play with him, my DS doesn’t understand this, and continues to follow them and want to interact. I distract, remove from the situation, try to explain, but it doesn’t sink in.
Today at the park, another child told him to go away, and that he didn’t want to play with him, my DS still didn’t understand, so we had to leave the park, resulting in a melt down.
Are there any better ways to deal with this? Does it get better with age?

Were the children a similar age to him or older? Does he have an EHCP and any speech and language support?

Hi @openupmyeagereyes , yes the kids were about 6 I would say.
We are in Wales so no EHCP’s here, but he has an LA IDP, which is the equivalent here I think.
He has a place in a specialist unit within a mainstream school for September.

I would ask for weekly small group work to be included to help develop social skills and play with other children.

It is hard when you’re out and about, no question. There is sometimes the odd child who is friendly, but IME plenty of kids have a bit of a radar for dc who are different and are not very inclusive, despite everything that’s flouted on SM about kids not caring about such things.

You could try going to the park at quieter hours or specifically meeting with ds’ friends so he has people he knows there. Try SEN sessions at soft play, that sort of thing.

Does the IDP includes SALT and OT? Both these can help with socialising.

Thank you @openupmyeagereyes I will ask his pre-school for this.

@ThomasWasTortured SALT has discharged his, and they have said he unable to engage in the activities, so they are unable to assist.
I have his next paediatrician appointment this week so I will ask for OT referral, as we haven’t been offered this.

SALT (which can help, although the therapist might have to adapt how/what they are delivering) and OT should be in the IDP. SNAPCymru will be able to help and advise you on how to try to improve the IDP.

Thank you @ThomasWasTortured I will give them a call.
Can I ask if you have children with autism, do they wear a lanyard? If so does this make people more understanding?

I have 2 DC with ASD, adult DD2 and teen DS3. Teen DS1 doesn’t have autism but does have other complex needs. DD2 never wears a lanyard, I’m not sure she needs to, she copes very well these days. DS3 will occasionally e.g. in airports, but not day to day. DS1 won’t wear one, but it is obvious to all he has additional needs.

I think a lanyard might help other adults understand, if behaviour out and about is an issue. I don’t think it would change other children’s attitude though.

That was my DS at 4-5, and it did get better with age, he's nearly 7 now and can manage playground interactions. In the mean time I'd look for some other sen/ neurodiverse children to make friends with. We're very lucky that there's a play centre in our city that's only for children with sen/disabilities which was amazing for him not to be the 'odd' one. Maybe see if there's any organising in your area?