Do other people do this? Because my two mates with children with SN don't drive themselves crazy the way I do.
I feel like dd2 is just my life and my mission in life is to make sure she is ok - of course I love my other two children just as much, but with dd2 there's a much stronger feeling of being in this for life IYKWIM - the other two will go off and marry and have their own families.
I don't work outside the home (I work freelance from home, but I keep my work volume generally pretty low), partly because I just need to know that I will always be there for her, to pick her, take her to appointments etc.. I really couldn't contemplate having after-school childcare.
I've been quite anxious about death & illness etc. since my mum was diagnosed with cancer and died 10 months later last year - she was only 58, my lovely mum and my best friend and it knocked me for six really. I am currently really stressing out at the thought of getting cancer and dying and leaving dd2 behind. I feel that I absolutely must outlive her because I need to take care of her at all times. She's my everything really.
I feel anxious when dh & I travel in the car together - we don't have anyone we can nominate as guardians and I almost feel like we shouldn't be in the car together in case we have a fatal crash and the children will have to go into care.
This is all just mad ramblings really, apologies.
Everybody else seems so chilled and unstressed about the future. I could worry for England.