Very worried, please give me some advice or reassurance.

[Notsleeping]

I have name changed for this. My DS is currently being assessed for various behavioural difficulties and is being looked at re Aspergers/ASD. I know he needs the help and am glad it is happening but I have a fairly long history of anxiety and depression. Am currently on incapacity benefit for it. I am absolutely terrified that they are going to look at this as a reason for my DS's difficulties and it will be used against us with perhaps involvement from social services. I cant sleep at night for worrying about it. I read some threads on here where the mothers are written about in the assessments in a negative way and I am so frightened that this will happen to us. I have been well for a few years now but still assessed as having anxiety disorder as I occasionally have horrible panic attacks. I know that it does not affect my kids, DH and I do not allow it to and I have been well pretty much since they were born apart from some PND after DS was born. I would be really grateful for some advice and reassurance or anyone else who has been in this position.

So sorry you are feeling so rotten - it's bad enough having the worry re:ASD without the added worry re:SS on top. I'm still very much at the beginning of the assessment process with DS (I mean he's only been on the list a year, don't be silly ), so don't have personal experience, but from what I have seen if a psychologist (and usually does seem to be a psychologist rather than a paediatrician) goes down the route of looking at mother's past mental health, which they shouldn't, ASD being neurological and all, the worst that seems to happen to the mother is being sent off on some potentially pointless parenting type course, irritating of course, but not a disaster.

TotalChaos, thanks for your reply. DS will be seeing a Psychologist rather than a Paediatrician. Can I ask if you have known someone this has happened to? I couldnt give two hoots about having to do parenting courses etc, but I just wonder what the process is and if it is likely that my mental health issues will be taken into account. If anything my DC have solved my issues. I just keep hearing so many horror stories about SS. I have sought medical help for the depression over the years and now this is happening with DS I just wish so much that I had not been so open. I have been very proactive with regards to my mental health. I even asked to see a psychologist while pregnant with my second child as a precautionary measure should I get PND again. Luckily I didnt. I am so frightened now that all this will be used against me.

I don't know very much firsthand about the process, being at an early stage, but I think they tend to ask you questions about the pregnancy, and your child's development from birth onwards so I guess the mental health stuff might come out in that context. I'm not sure how much would be asked about you and your health. I have one friend and one acquaintance who both got sent to a parenting course.

Bear in mind that the recent SS horror stories in the process are to do with newborn babies with the conspiracy theory suggestion of them being taken to fulfil adoption targets, rather than it being older children with difficulties targeted.

I hope someone comes along soon with some more direct experience that can reassure you.

hello notsleeping.

i have suffered with anxiety and depression for a number of years now.
i too am on IB and receive dla.

both my 2 have been asessed for asd, my son was dx,d with AS and my daughter is awaiting another asessment.

at no point have they delved into my problems, etc to ask if i suffered PND which i did with both.
it has not been mentioned on either of my kids asessment, although some stupid psych who eventually got a telling off when my son was dx,d suggested the asd was down to parenting skills and tried to persuade us to go on a parenting course, which we refused and said when you hold one for kids with an ASD we will attend.

hope this has helped ease your worries a little.

It really, really has. Thank you jenk1. You probably know how it goes, you just keep worrying and worrying until it is like it is actually happening. Do feel a bit better now. Very helpful to me to hear of someone else in a similar situation.

Thanks as well Totalchaos. Think I just need a few voices of reason. I got a bit teary at the GP's a few months back and since I went back again for DS's referral I just kept thinking, they will think I am a complete emotional mess and not the best person for DS to be with.

oh im glad its helped, FWIW, ive burst into tears,shouted,begged for help all sorts at these asessment appointments and when i think back i must have come across as being a bit "unwell" but i only ever got sympathy apart from that stupid psych, but he got his comeuppance!!!