How can I help my son?

[tallulahray89]

Hi, my son is 3 in October, Hes a gorgeous boy a proper quirky little fella and most of the time really happy, He is Neurodiverse & nonverbal. He loves nothing more than lining his trucks up, little baby bum, running (very fast in all directions 🤣) and spinning!

He’s always had lots of sensory issues around clothing and scratching but recently when he has a meltdown (or sometimes when he’s just sat happily, in his cot etc) he will scratch himself to bits, here’s a picture of what he will do. Obviously I try to make sure he is wearing clothing he is happy in so he isn’t able to scratch his body but he will scratch his face, shoulders, hands and also pull his own hair. He sleeps in a sleeping bag still for this reason as I’m terrified of what he would do. He’s been to the doctors numerous times and doesn’t have eczema/any skin conditions.

It’s really upsetting when he gets like this and the only thing we can do is hold him so he can’t hurt himself anymore. Have any other mums experience of this? Or have found anything to help or distract them from scratching? Realistically a sleeping bag isn’t always possible (in the heat this week) and he will lie in the cot quietly scratching also. I find it really upsetting & wish I could help him more but with him being non verbal and having other delays with his understanding etc it’s quite difficult 😥

(this picture is what he did within around 1 minute) x

Oh my goodness this is so sad. That looks so sore and uncomfortable. Poor thing and I can imagine how upsetting this must be for you - it’s heartbreaking and I hope someone comes along soon with some good advice from experience.

My son is 5 and non verbal and a few things I thought of could be a place to start. If you haven’t contacted your OT yet - then do as this could be a sensory thing. I would then buy some older child baby grows from M&S for bedtime. They are sleeveless and have poppers on the nappy area and he won’t be able to get to his tummy but will still be cool in the heat at night. They have no labels and are relatively cheap. I’d then cut his nails to a point of safety and get some calamine lotion to heal those cuts and prevent scarring. I’d then get a picture or symbol to show ouch and pain to see if your son points to it or for you to show him that it’s making him sore. I’d then think of something to offer him when he wants to scratch to distract him or show him how to rub his tummy gently rather then scratch?

Your GP, OT and even Paediatrician need to be supporting you here - but from experience - I know that’s easier said than done!!

I really hope you find a solution - my boy is the same and it would break my heart to have to see his little body in pain.

Good Luck xxxxx

I second a sensory OT assessment.

I know some people who have put gloves (cotton ones rather than winter gloves) or socks on DC’s hands to stop them scratching.

Have you tried an antihistamine? Even without there being an allergy/eczema it may help. And, if you have ruled out everything else, has DS had blood tests?

Just in case it's helpful here's a link to the bodysuits on m&s that a previous poster suggested. They do short sleeved and long sleeved too and would hopefully help as he wouldn't be able to access his skin so much to scratch.

https://www.marksandspencer.com/adaptive-unisex-pure-cotton-bodysuit-3-8-years-/p/clp22477060#intid=pid_pg1pip21g4r6c4

Poor baby, this must be so hard to watch as his mum xxx

If you've ruled out eczema then I definitely agree to seeking advice from an Occupational Therapist - it really sounds like there's a sensory seeking issue here that needs some expert advice. If you can't get help through the NHS quickly enough I'd go private if there's any way you can afford it (I know, not everyone has that luxury, but wait times are insane and I can absolutely imagine you're at your wits end here). In the meantime, have you tried teaching him to scratch other things when he's distressed or bored and seeking the sensory stimulation - to give him that sensory release in a safer way?

My DS used to scratch like this as a baby, long before I or anyone else knew he was autistic - hence the name Scratchybaby. I joined MN to try to get some advice asked my GP, HV and every adult woman I knew for help to stop the scratching with no results! It was such an exhausting time - I couldn't turn my back on him for more than 15 seconds or he'd be scratching his neck until he drew blood. We also went to the GP repeatedly trying to work out what rash he might have but to no avail, and simply had to block his access to scratching and used bibs in the day and scratch sleeves at night and after 6 months+ he eventually stopped, and found other outlets for his sensory seeking (he's 4.5 now). I think they may sell scratch sleeves for older children on Amazon? These really helped us get through the night.