Stories of hope non verbal asd going to school

[Putdownthecake]

Hi there,
I'm looking for stories of hope. My son is 4.5 and going to school in September. He is non verbal, in pull ups and not at all school ready (not sure he ever will be).
When he started nursery, he would hit himself, meltdown, suck on his clothes, stopped eating and barely slept. This lasted 3 months. Now he loves it and runs off but is still very much in his own world.
Sen schools are massively oversubscribed where i am but he has got a mainstream school with a specialist unit within it.
I am just after some stories of hope.
I genuinely think my love for my son will be what kills me. I am so suicidially depressed watching the person I love most in the world struggle and I just can't seem to help no matter how I try.

@BoyMom776 my son attends send school, I wish I wouldn't have put him in it though. He's non verbal but has no issues getting his needs met. He's the happiest little lad. Does very well with visuals. His self care is getting quite good, as is his language understanding. My son attends respite and his confidence has grown. He's in pants too although he has some accidents. I think the biggest change is me entering his World rather than trying to get him to enter mine