Ds nursery teacher said I need to go to gp and get a refferal what do I do ?

[laughalot]

As I write this I look at my ds and could just sob. How can there be anything wrong with my little loving boy ?

He started nursery in september he is hyper but mainly struggles socially as the teacher put it today he sees children as objects not people. He hates people invading his space and struggles in a big crowd. On the plus side he is very polite and excels at numeracy but does have issues she wants me to see a gp.

I just need advice this is all new and scary for me. I am heartbroken

DS and I are in the same place as you at the moment. We went to our GP yesterday for a referral to a Child Psychologist. He does not have quite the same issues as your DS but similar. I cant really give you any advice but I just wanted you to know that I understand how you are feeling. DS has been having problems for a year now. No problems at home, we didnt see anything wrong, just thought he was a bit different and doing things in his own time. It has been a horrible time. Just remember that although this is happening, he is still your little loving boy. That has not changed. I have said that if I could have DS with no problems and a different child or DS as he is now, I would have him as he is now. It is not the end of the world, even though it feels a bit like it at the moment. I have had some great advice on here so I am sure that someone will come along soon who can help you.

Laughalot

It's worth making an appointment to see the GP and asking for a referral for an assessment by a Developmental Paediatrician. There will probably be a Child Development Centre in your area where they will be based.

It's good that the teacher is keeping an eye out for potential problems but obviously this doesn't make it any less of a worry for you.

The SN board is a good place to find support while you are going through all this. Keep posting if it helps at all. xxx

Thankyou its good to know im not alone.

Do I go on my own or take him with me and expect a major kick off .

I deep down have known for a while that he seems a bit different but he potty trained ok, his speech is ok he is fairly clever cant you tell I havent a clue.

I took DS with me so she could have a look at him. He was great at the appointment but she still referred him, which is good. Is he likely to kick off in the Doctors? Maybe go on your own the first time so you can tell them everything without distractions and then bring him in another time.

I still dont have a clue and this has been going on for a year for us .

I think you can probably get the referral from the GP without having to take ds. If you feel as though the GP might want to see some 'evidence' then ask the teacher to write a letter detailing her concerns and take it with you to the appointment. I think the HV might also be able to arrange it for you instead of the GP, if you have an approachable one.

The health visitor is coming in the morning anyway as I took my dd for her 12 month review last week and my ds had a major meltdown in the docs. She dosent no him really and thought he was just being naughty so wants to come and give me advice on behaviour . I am pretty sure something is wrong as iv thought it myself for a while its just not nice to hear it in reality.

That 'he sees children as objects' is so hurtful and such a misunderstanding of social-communication disorders.

Ask for a referral to your local child development centre. You could talk to your HV about it tomorrow- and tell her what the nursery said.

Do have a good chat with the HV, they should be able to refer you. Agree too, that she could have been a lot more tactful! Hopefully this will be the start of finding him some support if he is struggling, so there are positives to try to concentrate on.

Our HV has done our referrals for us. She's the professional who has seen my boys grow up from birth and who has a good picture of their development and progress so has been the most natural person to work with as a first port of call, really.

Well it was a great start she dident even turn up .

Does anybody know if children are on the spectrum do they get any support in school? Sorry for asking such silly things but I just dont have a clue. The teacher seemed to think there is something wrong but its nothing severe as he communicates well, sleeps well, is potty trained ect. My ds will be 4 in july.

Sorry your HV didn't show!
Extra support in the classroom is not automatic, even with a diagnosis. In theory it depends on the childs needs, in practice it depends on funds and resources (and where you are). Sometimes a diagnosis will make the difference between getting support and not in the same needy child.

Hi Laughalot,

Sorry to read also that the HV was a no show.

Would suggest you get the ball rolling yourself and talk to your GP asking for a referral to a developmental paediatrician.

I would go all out to try and get a diagnosis from the above person.

There is nothing actually to stop you writing to the LEA and asking for your son to be assessed with regards to his special educational needs. You may be lucky enough to secure a Statement for him (you will need to be persistant with the LEA though to get this as they may well turn around initially and say no). A Statement, unlike other school plans like School Action and School Action plus, is both legally binding (very important) and will give the child a set number of hours of support each week. It can make a child's school life a bit easier than if this was not in place. Applying early for such a document is vitally important.

www.ipsea.org.uk is a very good website and has model letters you can use.

Agree with Atilla. It can take quite a long time to go through the process of getting support via a statement at school for a child(especially if left to the school) if it is needed. Getting started on the medical assessments (which can take a while to come and are then only usually a start) is sensible to avoid holdsups, which may delay help for the child. Your dc may not need support but if he does you'll be in a position to chivy things along. (I wish I'd had Attilas advise 4 years ago!)
Ps I would start making a list of the things that trouble you (you can keep a similar list of dcs delightful side to admire just for you or it can be a bit depressing!

If your ds will be 4 in July then presumably he will be starting school in September. It was around this time last year that we started having meetings with d2's school to discuss what he needed to make the transition to school.

I would make the appointment with the GP to ask for the referral. In the meantime the nursery staff can also be getting the ball rolling with help. If they haven't already then they could contact the Early Years Inclusion team to ask for their help. They could also be asking the Ed.Psych to come and observe your ds. They don't need a dx to make a start on these things.

The funding rules have changed, which means that there isn't a lot of 1:1 help available without a statement. Ds2 (AS) has no official 1:1 at all, although tbh he hasn't really needed it. His extra help involves things like support from the TA with social skills, a visual timetable when needed, and general understanding from his teacher. It works well for him but obviously a lot will depend on the child. Ds1 (ASD) had 1:1 help in Reception without a statement but the funding system has changed since then.

I think that seeing a development paediatrian is a good idea. My son nearly got expelled from a private pre school and had an assessment for autism at the age 3.

We discovered that he was not autisic, but he was deaf! My son had his adenoids removed and grommets. He now has hearing aids and is doing really well at school. His social skills improved once he could actually hear what other children were saying.

My son has made great progress and our community paediatrian has helped considerally.