It's exhausting parenting behavioural disabilities

[CatPancake]

I'm so bone achingly tired. Because his mood is SO dependant on how he's asked, how far in advance he's notified, how he gets managed by us - and it's still not enough for everything to go his way. I blame him, I blame me. I think he can't help it. I think that he can.

I'm just finding it so exhausting fighting this battle in my head - it's my fault I don't set him up for success. It's his fault he didn't try harder. He can't help it, he's disabled. His labels don't define his attitude/behaviour/personality type.

Anyone else just on this roundabout? I'm finding it really tough at the moment.

Are you and DS receiving support?

Some find counselling helpful.

Yes. I feel this way! Is he 10/11 by chance? DS is exhausting. The only thing I can do is try to start each day genuinely afresh . By the end of the day my patience and understanding is worn out.

Haha, yes! Age 11. I am waiting for the hammer of puberty to smack us any day now too.

Counselling - Sure. I'm on a billion year waitlist. My son doesnt need any apparently.

Can you afford private therapy?

Has DS been diagnosed within the last year? Or is he awaiting any other assessment? If so, Scope offer mentoring. There is a short waiting list but it isn’t anything like NHS waiting lists.

Does DS have an EHCP? If he does, therapies, including MH therapies, can be included in there. If it is in F as it should be then it must be provided and can be enforced. You should request an early review as the EHCP currently isn’t meeting DS’s needs. If DS doesn’t have an EHCP you should request an EHCNA.

Yes I'm in this boat. DS always been extremely defiant and I thought oh how could it get worse? Now he's 12 and gives not a shit about anything except the things he wants to do when he wants to do them. Im constantly see sawing between oh let him take the consequences then and it's not his fault he doesn't fully understand. So draining.

Different but similar. My DD suffers from anxiety. So much of my time is spent 'managing' what she can/can't cope with. Sometimes I get so tired I get less empathetic and then it all goes to pot.