Son hates school and won't engage

[HotPenguin]

Hello, my DS is 7 with ASD and ADHD. He is very bright but has extreme strengths and weaknesses - for example excellent at maths but can barely write. Advanced vocabulary for his age, but when he gets annoyed or frustrated he just screams and can't use words.

This year he has started frequently saying he hates school. He often refuses to engage in lessons he doesn't like. He sometimes hides in a corner and refuses to move and a few times has lashed out at other kids.

I'm not really sure how to help him. He already gets quite a bit of support from a TA and school are trying to formalise this but I'm not sure how much it's helping as he still hates the work and refuses to do it. The work isn't too hard for him, except possibly the writing. He just hates being told what to do.

I'm wondering if he needs a smaller class or a different learning environment where he has more choice over what he does. It's really getting me down having to force him into school in the morning when I know he isn't happy. Grateful for any suggestions!

I would look to get an EHCP if you don't already. I would also look around at different settings to get a feel for whether there is anything that might suit him better. You also need to aim for an EHCP with plenty of support written into it.

You could be talking about my son.

We are in the midst of being assessed privately and recently saw an OT for handwriting who immediately picked up he's hypermobile and this could be causing pain and thus struggling to write.

I have no solution as it's still early days for us but just wanted to let you know you're not alone.

@cansu I'm about to start the EHCP process but in not sure what support I should be aiming for, looking at other settings is a good idea.

@UsernameFail thanks I hadn't thought about that, he does say writing hurts his hand so that's a really good idea.

You sound like you are thinking along exactly the right lines in terms of asking what it is about the learning environment that could be adapted to make DCs experience of school better/more tolerable?

Your LA may be better than mine but mine refused to commission any specialist reports and produced a cursory EP report which failed to include many of his needs documented by other services/professionals. They even failed to consult the lead health professional responsible for his care. Hopefully you will have a better experience. It shouldn't need to work like this, but going into the process with an idea of what your child needs is, with existing evidence of needs already documented to feed in, is helpful should you encounter similar issues.

An OT assessment to consider sensory needs at school could be requested as part of an EHC assessment (but was refused by my LA).

Have you looked at the PDA website for strategies to help with demand avoidance? Phil Christie has an excellent book on understanding PDA, including lots of suggestions on school - would highly recommend this. Unfortunately my LA EP has recast my DC's demand avoidance features of autism as oppositional attitude when there is zero evidence of ODD and this is not a diagnosis he has ever been given, so do watch out for that too (I may just have had a particularly poor experience with my LA...).

The process of the EHCNA will help highlight what provision is required. As part of the needs assessment the LA must seek advice from anyone you reasonably request, that can include SALT, OT, clinical psychologist, psychiatrist. If you get an EHCP that doesn’t accurately reflect DS’s needs you can appeal and seek independent assessments, if you can’t afford these there are possible ways they might be funded.

If writing is a struggle have you tried a scribe, typing or speech to text software?

Does DS have sensory movement breaks? Does the school use anything like Zones of Regulation?