Want to hear from anyone who's had trouble getting school to refer their child for autism diagnosis

[JenP1969]

I hope this is okay to post in here.
I am a writer and I'm looking in my next novel to include a mum who's having trouble getting the school to refer her child for a potential autism diagnosis. He is 8. Is this realistic please? I know it used to be difficult, but I'm guessing things have possibly changed - I hope they have, although that will make my plotting more difficult!
I'm really keen to include this storyline because I strongly suspect I am autistic myself but it wasn't picked up on at school. I'm now 53 and whilst I could push for a diagnosis, I have managed somehow to get to this point without it.
If anyone has anything they could share on this subject, I'd be very grateful as I want it to be credible.
Thank you.

Hi there, school don't need to refer for a diagnosis, a parent can do this themselves via their GP or via a speech and language therapist if they have one. Often needs are flagged by school in the first instance but it doesn't have to come from there as diagnosis is done by a Paediatrician and referrals can come from various places. I believe a parent can even self refer. My son was already on the school SEN register but it was his speech and language specialist that made the referral to paediatrician, but I could have done this myself via GP

That depends on the area you live in. In some areas when a child in on a school’s roll it now has to come via the school. Not all areas can self refer either.

Thank you. That's helpful to know.
Someone mightn't realise that they can refer their child themselves though. Is that plausible?
I just wanted there to be a situation where the mum wants the school to refer but the teacher is saying that it isn't necessary, and talks the mum out of it. Later, the mum can take the situation into their own hands and refer themselves.
My friend had this same situation with her child - school just blank refused to refer - but we are going back a long time. In the end, my friend paid for her child to see someone privately. The mum in my book wouldn't be able to do that but I still was hoping to portray a similar situation.
Or failing that, might it be that if the mum doesn't push for it, the school does nothing, saying that the child just lacks social skills etc.

We struggled for years to get DD referred. She was seen by SENCO, SLT and GPs. Now she's on the pathway, no diagnosis yet but they've said she had some severe ASD traits. So yes, it very much does happen.

Agree this is very likely to happen particularly for girls (but can be for boys too) as they often mask at school and are just perceived as being quiet, withdrawn and anxious. For years we were fobbed off that our DC was just anxious and shy. It took escalating mental health problems to be taken seriously. This is fairly common I believe. There is an article called flying under the radar about it that might be useful - it's particularly relevant for girls but boys can present this way too I think.
Good luck with the book!