I am dreading half term

[chopster]

ds1's behaviour really is gettign worse at home. The twins are now nearly 3, so they are challenging in any case and he jsut aggravates them.

I can no long er take them shopping on my own, walking anywhere near a raod is almost impossible and at home I'm running aroudn liek a headless chicken. He keeps punching the others, this morn he pushed dt1 down the stairs. He is hypersensitive and if something upsets him he goes in a mood, howls and then lashes out. I feel like I am dealing with three 3yos.

He doesn't lsiten to a word I say, it goes in one ear and the other. Positive reinforcement, punishment, bribery all have no affect on controlling his behaviour, so I'm at a loss. He jsut doesn't care, never has done. He spends most of the time in his own little world and does exactly what he feels like. He has dxs of dyspraxia and hypermobility. But he also has stong autistic type tendances. Jury is still out on whether it is because of the dyspraxia or whether he should be dx with autism too.

At school, he gets one to one support and is lvoely. He is lovely with me when I can give him one to one, but I can't do that all the time at home, I have four children to look after.

Sorry for the rant, but if anyone could give me any ideas on how I mgiht get through to him I'd be really grateful.

what therapy are you having for ds. We do ot for our dd, who is highly sensitive and she has stopped hitting out and has def calmed down.

Could you get a childminder to have him (or the twins) for a few hours occasionally to give you a small break

Either one sounds hard work but together is very tiring

Wow! you have your hands full! I only have one Ds, ( so cannot offer practcal advise)but could have written your post a couple of years back about my ds ( LD/ASD/ADHD). I didnt want to leave your post unanswered but hopefully wiser folk will post later.
Ds is also lovely when relaxed with one to one but even I (mother of 1)cant do that all of the time! However I did find things improved if I had set times for 'special time' with just Ds and I. Ds chose what he wanted to do- in his case it was play tea shops!( Fitted in with my morning cuppa a treat) I used a timer to define the end of this 10 minute time to allow me to attend to other things. Ds is an early riser (very!) so we have a time then and then another late in the day. The morning slot was always scheduled and reduced the constant attention seeking for a while after. With 3 others I have no idea how you could fit this in, but perhaps he could have some special time with your dp ( or after dts in bed) or gps or neighbour.
I was once told that I should aim to give at least twice a much genuine praise as telling off! so look for things to praise even things like pulling a punch! (in a situation he might formerly have lashed out in!). Good luck with half term!

You really need some respite help. Does your lad have a social worker from the 'Child Health and Disability Team'. Thats the first port of call.

Hiya
Are there any 'special needs' half term playschemes in your area? Perhaps if you ring S S they will be able to get you an emergency place. If you dont have a social worker - ring the ON DUTY social worker. You can do this over the weekend and during the week..(emergency on duty sw) they will have to file that you have phoned them, and should get you some help.

Hope things wont be as bad as you are dreading.

good Luck

Chopster - i Know exactly where youa re coming from, sounds like your ds and mine have some definites in common!

It's been half term here, I also don't go shopping with the ds's alone (DS1 hurts other poeple and ds3 bolts) but we're ina village and couldn't have done even if we wanted as car gone.

best thing we have done this week has been to book ds2 into a football club (paid for from ds1's DLA) so he can get some non-ASD company. It was only 3 days but made a hge difference I think!

Good luck

sorry I haven't been back - I've been stocking up on shoppign so I don't haev to take them next week!

He did get on a playscheme for a week in the summer, but nothing since. I can't afford to put him in playschemes myself. social services haven't really been much help. I did have some childminder hours too, but that got cut very quickly, due to lack of funding.

we are still waiting for therapy, been 8 months or so now, expected to be at least another 4.

He has jsut gotten so much worse lately - he has changed so much. He used to be incredibly docile, dreamy, withdrawn even.

I've still nto applied for DLA yet, maybe I should look into it. I looked through the forms after his last dx and I jsut couldn't really see how we would be entitled to it. Though as time goes on he is mmore and mroe work.

If he's violent, he's entitled to soemthing- ds1 isn't obviously disabled when you see him but we get high rate because his violence means we have to constantly suopervise him, and keep him safe at night. Please apply- makes such a difference to us. You'll get access to CA if you qualify as well, and also additional WTC.

neither ds1 or ds3 qualify for a playscheme (NAS taking them up on that for us) so I put DS2, the NT one on a scheme- I couldn't have coped this half term otherwise, being PG. AS it happened it calmed ds1 downa bit, though I did still get a kicking and DS2 got a mild stabbing (!). Would ahev been worse othrewise though. Esp. as the time to tidy meant i found the stash of knives .

SO looking forwards to Easter- what with baby being due bang in the middle and all . DS3 is learning from DS1 as well, he has no malice but thinks its funny.

oh wow, hope the baby waits until they go back to school!

how do you deal with ds1 when he is being violent? The only thing I can do atm is remove him from the situation, but then he jsut boils! He jsut seems to be getting angrier and angrier in general. Mostly frustration I expect.

Don't hink he will wait sadly, it's bang in the middle of a 20 day hol..... - timing or what?

Struggle with ds1, and happily admit it. We just deal with stuff on a day to day atm. A gluten free diet worked quite well but ds1 started binge eating on the sly so we tried pulling it- reinstating next week, too much of a nightmare!

BIBIC taught us absic restraint techniques which helped (have you contacted them? They can fund you to visit if you as), but ther est is just play by eara nd try to cope. he ahs a statement and 1-1 for 10hrs at school, but even there he attacks people etc.

He gets really wound up by ds3 atm, who is much more autistic if there is such a scale. DS3 is HYPOsensitive to stimulus so we have to be noisy etc whilst ds1 is the opposite....arrgghhhhh

omg what a nightmare trying to balance their needs you must have! I'd never actually heard of hyposensitivity.

ds1 is only 5 so I can still restrain him, and even jsut shouting at him will stop him being violent for now, but usually it's jsut too late! One of my biggest fears is that he will cause a road accident. he just has no concept and is so bloody unpredictable.

I have thought about playign with his diet, but it's hard enough as it is with dt2's ever increasing list of intolerances, without trying to exclude more stuff!

we got dla for dd with no diagnosis, cos she could be aggressive, did and still does run away even on roads without supervision,. The constant supervision is what clinched it, cos otherwise dd seems like nt child.

go for it.

well I've jsut about survived the first day. He hasn't been too bad, apart from refusing to get out of the car when we got to soft play. I dragged him in, and then he played for a bit until he got too tired.

I will look into dla after the holiday, thanks.