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man in the playground asked me "what did he do that for" about ds2's behaviour

4 replies

mummypig · 14/02/2008 14:47

I was really embarrassed by ds2 yesterday. He pushed over a toddler in the playground and got shouted at by a man I assume was the kid's dad.

I hate it when ds2 does this - goes up to other people and hurts them for no apparent reason. I'm pretty sure I've shown him that it's unacceptable behaviour but I do feel it reflects on me somehow. I feel it might be connected to the seizures or the AEDs or it might not be. It's so hard to separate out what's going on with them, but his behaviour certainly got significantly worse after he'd had his first lot of tonic-clonic seizures, although I thought he'd calmed down recently. However, he had some kind of seizure at school yesterday (I couldn't work out what, from the description the teacher gave me) so it may have been he was still feeling rough from that. Or he might have just been feeling like doing something horrible to someone else who couldn't fight back .

I was in the playground with both sons and they were playing with someone from ds1's school, so after I'd apologised to the parents and told ds2 off in no uncertain terms, the other mum just suggested we go out of the playground and into the park. This worked just fine and there were no more incidents. As the other mum pointed out, ds2 had been running around with the older boys playing quite an aggressive game, but there's still no excuse really.

I just wanted to share my mortification here where other parents might understand. I know lots of you have to deal with far worse, every day, but I felt so bad about it all. "What did he do that for?" Well, I wish I knew.

OP posts:
ancientmiddleagedmum · 14/02/2008 14:53

God, I do so know how you feel. It is awful, and tbh if a NF boy had done it, there wouldn't be nearly so much bad feeling as "boys will be boys". Has he seen another kid push someone and is copying? I say this because once when my DS was younger he pushed a toddler off a high climbing frame (luckily I was right there and literally caught the kid, the mother went pale as a sheet). But I later realised it's because on holiday we had all (stupidly) taught him a great joke which was to push us off the side into the swimming pool! Well we don't make a mistake like that again. I do feel for you, but believe me there are boys doing this who are normally functioning in my DD's class every single day - punching, hitting, pushing, bullying. I think those mums feel just as bad, and their kids have no special needs. Big hug to you!

time4me · 14/02/2008 14:58

Hi Mummypig
I could have written your message myself.
I get comments like this all the time.My son shouts the f word and is very aggressive in public.Ive just come back from macdonalds with him and ate two meals and two flurries cos he demanded them but then got aggressive and didnt want to eat them.He is wild at the moment.Here comes my selfpitying bit,I am on half term with him this week,( im a teacher ) and my half term holiday has been spent restraining him from damaging the house.Hes just bitten clean through my Blackpool dvd which I was so so looking forward to watching.Boo hoo,hes nearly 20 by the way. How dare that silly git say that thing to you,you are a very very brave mum coping in extremely difficult circumstances,let him have a try!!!! hugs to you xxxx ps I think dss wildness is due to a new regime with his epilepsy drugs.

mummypig · 14/02/2008 15:04

hi thanks for your hugs. Tbh the man wouldn't have known ds2 wasn't NT in any case, and I can understand why he reacted the way he did, but I am finding it quite tough at the moment and just hanging on hoping that everything will settle down to a certain extent.

Big sympathy to both of you, too. And time4me, I hope you get a little bit of time to yourself before you have to go back to your paid work - and that your ds calms down too.

OP posts:
coppertop · 14/02/2008 15:26

I'm sorry you had such a rough time of it, Mummypig. I hope ds2's okay after his seizure at school. xxx

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