Child hurting siblings

[Incaspider]

My eldest has ADHD and ASD when he stressed he will punch his younger 2 siblings. He is 9 and they are 7 and 5. It's not a strong punch but obviously it's a horrible way for us to live. How do I deal with this?! I've tried shouting, times out, explaining...... I need it to stop!!!

Preventing escalation in the first place works better than punishment. What triggers the stress? Have you tried to keep a diary to spot triggers and signs?

What support is DS receiving? Is he receiving any support for emotional literacy and regulation?

Some find Ross Greene’s the Explosive Child book helpful and Yvonne Newbold’s resources.

For DC2&3 you could contact your local young carers service and Sibs.

Thank you. I will read the book.
He is mostly triggered by being outside in public, particularly in busy places. So obviously this is sometimes just unavoidable.

He does have emotional literacy lessons at school and actually I think this is probably something I should raise with school as they will know how best to deal with it and tell us what to do. Funny how sometimes you can't think of what to do until you put it on a forum so thank you!

Ask the school if they have anyone that can support Zones of Regulation work. That will help DS learn, and use, more appropriate strategies and tools for coping. And when you are out and spot the signs DS isn’t coping can you prompt him to think about what colour he is and which tools he should use. It isn’t a quick fix but over time will help.

Does DS use noise cancelling headphones/ear defenders when out? Some people find sunglasses &/or a big hoody/hat help too, and DS would use one some find a wheelchair/SN buggy helps.