Help with 5 year old

[GGirls]

Long time poster but have changed due to identifying information!

We have a just turned ball of energy 5 year old girl.
When she was nearly 4 it became apparent she had lots of sensory issues, some behavior issues at home and aggression towards her 10 year old sister .
She had no issues in Montessori and is now in school and has been described by teacher as a model student .
Her sensory issues worsened when she started school and we managed to book her in privately for OT sessions which she attends weekly.
She has come on leaps and bounds re sensory issues and therapist has said she has no need to continue with sessions but has recommended play therapy to deal with behavior and aggression towards sister .
We are currently on a waiting list of ten weeks .

Her behavior has spiraled out of control over the past few weeks , at home she is screaming and shouting all day long. We do a lot of playgrounds , meeting up with her friends etc which she loves and is always very good when with peers .
She attends after school activities with friends which she loves too.
All of her friends parents ( when collecting from play dates , parties ) have commented about how kind she is and how much of a joy she is to have 🤯
As per recommendation from OT report , she has movement breaks at school to see if it helps with behavior at home - it doesn’t .

Her behavior is now unmanageable, we went away for two days and the car journey ( only two hours , with an iPad !!) was awful , she had tantrums when out and doesn’t seem to be able to regulate her emotions .

We do have a “calming box “ at home where she chooses an activity to help calm herself, an indoor and outdoor trampoline, screen time ( iPad is limited to weekend ) she doesn’t have much interest in the actual tv.
Our 10 year old can make matters worse as she knows how to get a reaction which doesn’t help .
We have been advised to get her assessed for autism when she turns 6, does this sound like autism ? I don’t care what it is I just want to know how to manage it at this stage !!

Has anyone been in this position? How do you manage behavior? Currently using time out when she hurts her sister but it doesn’t work and I know it’s outdated

Please help! I know it’s very long so apologies

You don’t need to wait until 6 to be referred for an autism assessment, you should look at that now.

Other than the movement breaks what support is the school providing? Are they providing emotional literacy support and do they have anyone that delivers something like Zones of Regulation? Do they offer sensory circuits? Other support for DD’s sensory needs? Managing at school and exploding at home isn’t uncommon. It’s called the coke bottle effect.

Rather than punishments look at how you can prevent situations escalating in the first place. Have you tried keeping a detailed diary to spot triggers. How do you deal with DC1 provoking a reaction?

Some people find Rose Greene’s The Explosive Child book &/or Yvonne Newbold’s VCB resources helpful.

Thanks @FloatingBean
I am in Ireland so not sure if it’s different, if she was disruptive in school I know they are able to push for hse referral. Maybe I could ask the school on my behalf.
The school have been excellent, constant communication but there has been no issues what so ever in school setting apart from classroom can get noisy so sna will bring her for movement break. ( she also has ear defenders when needed )
She does come home and tell me that she tells the teacher it’s too noisy so she can go out for a walk even if it’s not noisy!
Teacher does have zones of regulation chart but hasn’t been needed yet.

Yes her sister gets disciplined for provoking which is why I ended up putting 5 year old in time out as felt it wasn’t fair for one to be punished but I feel that doesn’t work

Triggers can be anything , she doesn’t play by herself or stay in a room alone so any housework / cooking is what sets it off
she then starts annoying 10 year old.
At times they play very well together- until youngest doesn’t get her own way .

She is a very clever and bright child is happy once sitting with me doing writing , colouring or any table top activities!!
She can also be incredibly kind hearted and funny .
we are just in a very difficult place at the moment and would love to know how to help her

Zones of regulation and other similar interventions should still be being provided at school as the skills learnt/supported will help DD at home even if the behaviours aren’t apparent at school.

I don’t know much about the assessment process in Ireland but I do know some have a diagnosis before 6 so there must be a way to get a referral earlier. SALT and OT can help with emotional regulation. I know you said ongoing sensory OT wasn’t necessary but OT can help with emotions and self regulation.