Feeling alone, but it’s my fault

[Triggerfinger]

Not sure what I’m hoping to gain here. I have 2 SEN dc, but also have issues myself around social anxiety and a general dislike for being around people as I feel no one really gets me. As a result, I don’t have many close friends, and the ones I do have don’t have kids that are anything like mine.

It’s the Easter holidays at the moment and I find it really hard. Dc 1 is 5 and off school. Dc 2 is only 2.5 so I’m used to being able to give them more 1:1 time when dc 1 is at school.

I adore spending time with my kids - they are my everything. The holidays are so hard though. We have no routine, the kids squabble so much, I can’t give them the time they both need and it affects me so much.

I wish I had someone I could talk to who could relate, but I don’t, and it’s my fault for not making an effort to get to know people in the same position as me.

Anyway, that was a fairly good rant. If you’ve read it this far, you deserve a medal.

Hi @Triggerfinger
Sorry to hear you are feeling like this! I think having SEN children can be lonely, especially if you don’t have anyone who understands.

My DS is 4 with ASD, and over the last couple of years I have distanced myself from
friends with kids the same age, as my DS was so different, and couldn’t enjoy the same activities their children.

Are their any SEN parent local groups to you? I have just joined one and it’s honestly the first time I felt I could just relax and be honest and myself in years.

Hi @Frustratedandmotivated thank you for your reply.

I’m still relatively new to the SEN diagnosis and am probably in a period of adjustment perhaps? I don’t know.

We have a lovely organised SEN playgroup near by which I tried a couple of times. Unfortunately, my social awkwardness made it difficult to speak to anyone and I found the whole thing overwhelming. I’ve not been back since.

I just really wish sometimes that there was someone who knew exactly how I felt…. But I guess we all want that!

Is there a different SEN group? Or a local Facebook group or something where you could start to get to know some of the group before meeting in person?

Can you make a routine? Our holidays are structured because that’s what DC need.

Have you had social care assessments? A carer’s assessment for you and an assessment via the disabled children’s team for DC. That could provide extra support for you/them. Home Start might be able to help too.

If either DC have been diagnosed in the last year or are undergoing assessment Scope offer mentoring which might help.

Just sending a hug. I have an older ASC teen and no family around me for support or anyone that really understands how it is. It is very lonely at times.

Thanks @FloatingBean . There aren’t any other groups - I live in a small rural town. I might see if there are any FB groups though. I think the thing that has made this break harder is DC1 is under the weather, so we haven’t even been able to get out and that is a massive part of my day.

Thank you @Fififizz
big hugs right back at you x