Am I the only parent who is made to feel she MUNCHAUSEN'S by the PROFESSIONALS that JUST DON'T LISTEN and TAKE US SERIOUSLY???

[MUM23ASD]

...was just posting on another thread about my feeling that i must have munchausen's.

its just that when i struggle to get teachers or doctors to see what i see...i really feel it's me...and then eventually...when someone finally sees what i'm tring to prove...it's ok

i even asked my CPN if she thought i had munchausen's

am i alone!!!!??? or do others feel like this?

Message withdrawn

well it would be Munchausen's by proxy and you would have to be physically harming your Dc in order to get attention rather than seeking attention for an illness that wasn't there.

plus this syndrome is now deemed to not even exist so you certainly don't have MSbP

but yes, i do know exactly what you mean and precisely how you feel.

why is it professionals feel that a half hour visit will tell them all they need to know about a child with quite often very complex needs.

all i can say is to carry on fighting. your head will soon learn not to even feel the brick wall your butting against

membership to the club is FREE!!!
OOPS...you can be the 1st member!!!

Oh I think many mothers (its usually mothers isnt it) find their concerns are ignored or not taken seriously. There is a gp at the practice I attend who always goes into treating me oversympathetically as if my concerns are imaginary mode! It is so destructive! The other big one is blaming the mother (rather than investigate the child) for a childs recognised problem such as slower development - assuming mum does not talk/play/interact etc! So you are not alone in having to fight to get your concerns taken seriously! I had better shut up now before the steam starts rising!

if it exists we all have it. Doctors and others forget that we are experts on our own child and know what is right or wrong or different. Much better than some bloke who sees the child for 20 mins every 3 months. We're lucky in that dd's paediatrician trusts us and knows we are the experts so he actually listens!
But when we've had to go in as an emergency with seizures or pneumonia I get some 12 yo questioning what I say! Like 'How do you know she has cerebral palsy? Are you a doctor?'
To which the answer is 'yes' (they don't need to know its not a medical one but it does shut them up.

I so relate! I didn't know whether to cry or kiss DS2 when he exhibited the behaviours I am trying to say are problematic in front of behavioural Psych's. I went for tears.... At last after trashing the room and bashing everyone in sight somebody agreed that he has complex sensory needs.

Week before was in despair as joint clinic nightmare and school keep insisting he is just immature. DH takes a similar stance on the whole too. I was doubting myself bigtime feeling like a very rubbish parent. I was hoping that there was a place for us on house of tiny tearaways.

What is in it for me for him to have additional needs?

I regularly get the signs and roll-eyes and the 'kind' suggestion, that if I just relaxed then my ds3 would relax and cope better with other children. Apparently I am passing all my stress on to him. This came from an educational psychologist, must be part of the syllabus called 'treat mothers like fu**wits and liars, and all health-visitors are demi-gods.' Along with
'20 minutes observing a child can gleam so much more information than a 'biased' and 'stupid' mother, who just can't cope with a normal child and his normal personality.'
I was told that my ds's asd was probably just part of his personality and not really a disability.
The world is full of idiots, unfortunately

New GP pissed me off when I was mentioning my worries re:DS, and the stress of the endless waiting list for assessment. Gave me a lecture about not labelling children . And the ASD support group I went to also seemed to be treating me like an MSBP case too....

When you have a family with more than ne with SN (As I also do) I think its particuarly easy to feel like that Mum23asd.

And the crap about not labelling- we ahd that at ds1's first assessment years ago. It is purely financial.

I agree Peachy. It's hard enough getting the services in some areas of UK even WITH the diagnosis - without the label it's fecking impossible.

My paed is completely against me doing an MA in ASD- thinks parents shouldn't be accepted. WTF?

. As a parent, I would find it so reassuring to be speaking to professionals who have that personal experience of ASD

Homestart won't employ people who don't have kids, think its important to hve some empathy- even if you don't have sn kids spending time with the famillies pre-qualification would be ideal imho.

I always get that feeling when trying to explain what's going on to doctors!! Got our assessment date through finally for next week, but I know it'll be me under the microscope, and not so much DD. Plus she will probably be on her best behavour, and I'll end up looking like a whack job so I want to join the club too

aha...pipin...you have sussed the system!!!!

(somehow though i think i've gone too far now...the paed phoned me up once to ask for MY ADVICE!!!!...i don't think she'd believe me if i tried DENIAL!!!!)

!!!

how do you feel now...are you getting used to the diagnosis?

Pipin - I think I get this reaction from docs as I would be considered a 'young' mum, I am a single parent and I have had serious MH problems in the past. They expect me to be dimwitted and have no idea what they are talking about, so talk to me like a 2yo - but I have a nursing degree! It makes me so mad!! Sometimes I wish I had stayed in denial - pushed for assessment from 14 months, not that it did any good unitl she was 18 months, then have been on the waiting list for what feels like forever!

helewele...i have MH probs too....and it has taken me a year to pluck up the courage to even go to my own g.p about physical probs i am having...and i told him how i feel about noone believing me...and he agreed to blood etst me for a variety of things (tomotrrow...10am!!!!) to see if there is anything other than MH causing my symptoms...

pipin...yes i understand...my eldest is 14 and i just feel we've wasted his school years wondering whether we should or shouldn't push for more help etc...being told continually by 'those in the know' that he wouldn't get the help anyway even if we did ask.

luckily for me anyway...because the MHteam decided i have OCD...(i think its more likely ASD...but who cares...as long as i have something...i get support!).... i get a vist everyweek from a CPN or a 'support in community worker'...the cpn comes one week the other comes the other week. but i get so angry that i just cannot get similar input for my boys from SS. they say we don't have 'severe enough needs'...yet i have 3 boys with ASD and i am under the MH teams watchful eye.....

We've had the stuff about 'not labelling' for 4 years, I'm only just getting confident enough to point out the obvious. To the doctors who don't want her to use a wheelchair, 'because it might her think of herself as disabled':
'Oh, you don't think she might just notice as she crawls up the pavement on her hands and knees?'

Then you get the surgeons who want to operate right, left and centre because they can't believe that the condition she is actually known to have could be causing this much pain ('read the medical literature, you twats!'). I know doctors can't be expected to keep abreast of everything, but surely it's more cost effective to read 3 articles than to organise a whole operation?

Or the ones (most of them, actually) who tell dd what it's like to have her condition instead of asking her. And it's pretty obvious all they've done is google.

But you can't win: if you haven't read the medical literature then they know best, and if you have read it that proves you're an overanxious mum.