Asd responding to jealousy

[clareykb]

Dd has asd. She is 10 ,in y5 in a mainstream school, she is middle of the road academically and excellent at art which is her safe go to subject! As part of her asd she fixated on things and recently there was an art competition at school that she tried really hard in but didn't win. Obviously the is just how life works ans have tried explaining that but Dd has now directed her anger towards the boy who did. Shouting at him at school, calling him names etc etc and having melt downs at school. I have tried consequences at home, have tried social stories and regulation techniques, she can give me the right answers of what to do whe calm but loses it in the moment. I also feel really sorry for the boy as was bullied at primary school and it was awful. Anyone been in this situation? What did you do? Did anything work at school?

How are school dealing with her meltdowns and bullying the boy?

Mainly removing her from the situation and normal consequences sticker chart type behaviour charts. It's like she knows it's wrong but in the moment can't control it.

I don't know about your DD but I found with my DD sticker charts were fairly useless as she knows what she should be doing but she isn't Neurotypical so she simply can't respond to them like another child would.

What have the school suggested now it's clear that the sticker chart doesn't work?

If she's in Y5 are you thinking of a more specialist school for High School? My DD coped fairly well in Primary but like a lot of girls with ASD the problems really started with the start of High School and puberty.

The school treating DD like an NT child is unlikely to work.

Is DD receiving any emotional literacy support? Does the school have anyone that can support Zones of Regulation Work? Has DD had SALT and OT assessments.

In the meantime is the school trying to keep the pupils apart?

She has an ECHP which has just been approved and as part of that zones of regulation has been suggested so thats on the horrizon hopefully it should help. Yes she has both SALT and OT assessments done. For secondary we are looking at a ASD unit at a mainstream school. She is a twin and I would like her and her brother at the same school or at least vaugely near each other if it is at all possible ...mainly for my sanity!

If DD has an EHCP does it include ongoing SALT and OT? Potentially also other therapeutic input too.

DD will be eligible to receive transport to school so even if she does end up in a different school to DS that should help your sanity.

Thanks all yes includes salt but we are still in the process of getting it all sorted so hopefully that will help in future

I'd talk to the school about how they are dealing with this again.

Like Floating says, she needs Emotional Literacy work and Zones if Regulation work.

If an EHCP has just been issued the provision should be in place in the next few weeks.

What about OT and potentially other therapeutic input too?