How many of you have more than one child with ASD?

[L0ts]

I know this has been asked probably a hundred times before but I can’t help but ask again as it is constantly on my mind atm.

My first had ASD, he is yet to be diagnosed but currently going through the process, he is almost 4. I’m not sure where on ‘the scale’ of severity he would be because he does understand some things, has perfect speech etc he just doesn’t use it to have conversations. He is very antisocial at nursery, doesn’t involve himself in group activities etc. tiptoe walks occasionally, didn’t point until 3 and only in the last 4/5 months has he started responding to his name.

Anyway, my second son is now 5 weeks old and I’m driving myself stir crazy wondering if he too will grow up to have ASD. I obviously love my first to pieces and actually wouldn’t change him for the world, but is it selfish of me to admit I hope my second doesn’t have autism? 😩

We don’t have any ASD in the family at all, I have no idea where it’s come from really. I do suspect environmental factors though combined with a very traumatic birth. When he was a year old the pandemic hit and we just moved in to our own house. He grew up in that first year living in a very busy household (my mom, stepdad and two younger brothers) and he developed totally normal it was only when his speech started that we suspected something. So I don’t know if suddenly going from a very hustle and bustle, lively home to seeing absolutely nobody for months on end had a play in it.

Anyway, if you have more than one child and one has ASD, do any of your other children?

DS18 is NT, DS7 has autism and Tourettes Syndrome with such bad pervasive anxiety I am homeschooling, and DS4 appears to have autism too. He's not been diagnosed though because I'm currently arguing with nursery about it all. His learning isn't affected so they don't want to refer. I disagree, he needs to know if he is affected by something later on.

Just to add, thought DS4 was NT until he hit two and a half. DS7 was obvious from birth really.

DD 7 is being assessed ( but it's getting increasingly obvious), DS is 10 and while a sensitive soul is NT as far as we can tell.

I have an autistic DS1, aged 6 (with a non-verbal IQ of 148) and a DS2, aged 3, who has more autistic traits than DS1, but who is NT as far as we can tell.

DS1 had a mild speech delay, walked on tiptoes (a bit), hand flapped (a bit) and was slow to potty train, but has a wide range of interests. DS2 can talk the hind-leg off a donkey and is potty trained already, but also walks on tiptoes, lines up cars, is single-mindedly obsessed with vehicles, an incredibly picky eater, and hand flaps.

DS1 and DS2 get on like a house on fire - their relationship is utterly typical for siblings, apparently. DS1 appears to be academically smarter than DS2, but DS2 is better at learning by social copying - I guess DS2 will end up being the social butterfly in the family while his brother is the quieter, techie one (although neither DS is quiet).

I'm trying for a DS3 and, obviously, have it in mind that a possible DS3 could also be autistic. DS1 struggles at school, but is an absolute treasure at home - I'd be perfectly cool with another DS1.

Ds1 on way to diagnosis (academically able very anxious struggles socially). DC2 has adhd dc3 I think is NT

@L0ts Hi , just checking in to see how your son is doing?

Hello! So my eldest is 6 now and my son who was 5 weeks old here turned 2 earlier this year. I am about 95% certain he is neurotypical. That 5% is purely because he’s only 28 months old and not because he shows any signs of having autism. He understands and talks way more than my eldest ever did at this age. He generally acts completely different to my eldest - he plays with us all the time, checks in on where we are when we’re out, he points, responds to his name, he’s very social with other children etc. it’s been a totally different parenting experience. I now have a third baby, a little girl, who is 8 months old and obviously I have no way of knowing at the minute if she has ASD but she is showing no signs yet so I’ll sit tight and ride it out.

That's brilliant news. Thanks for getting back to me. It's so hard to not let the fear take over. Congratulations on your daughter also.