Dd will now only wear one set of PJs, day and night

[Whatafustercluck]

6yo dd has had persistent clothing issues. We don't think they're truly a sensory processing condition because the range of reasons why she won't wear something varies so widely and change frequently. It's been getting progressively worse since Christmas - knickers too small, too big, too tight, too loose, tshirt sleeves too long, too short, trousers too long, too short, buttons annoy, zips annoy, neckline too high, neckline too low - you get the idea. Nothing, and I mean nothing, helps, the goalposts shift further and further. She's now down to one pair of PJs, but she wants to stay in them all the time, day and night. We believe it's control based but are so desperate as we can't do anything with her. She's had to give up taekwondo, parties, swimming, anything at all that requires leaving the house. We are house bound with her and have to take shifts so we can get out and spend time with our 12yo ds. Please help.

Has DD had an OT assessment? Is she receiving any support?

Have a look at the PDA society’s resources.

Would DD be able to manage you quickly washing/drying the pyjamas whilst she is e.g. in the bath or sits wrapped in a blanket or in bed?

Have you had social care assessments?

She's in the system awaiting a decision on needs assessment for EHCP, and we're trying to get the school to provide the reports they need to for neurodevelopmental assessment via CAMHS. We've undertaken all the parenting led stuff and tried various strategies. There's no more support we can currently get as we're just in the system and waiting. I think it'll have to be washing the PJs every day for now. Getting her back to school next week is I think impossible, she's also begun seatbelt refusal again.

Have you looked at a referral for SALT and OT? You don’t need a diagnosis already for these and in many areas you can self refer. If the LA do agree to assess they can be part of that without the need to sit on the waiting lists.

A diagnosis isn’t needed for social care assessments/support either.

If DD can’t attend school the LA must provide alternative education.

You need a crelling harness for the car.

@JustKeepBuilding I discussed OT with the GP, who says that no matter what the initial pathway is via CAMHS. I've asked for a call back from them to discuss a few things though, as I'm not sure whether we can push for something else that way. When you say an LA must provide alternative education, what does that look like for a school refusing child? I've noticed that many in similar situations choose to homeschool instead which suggests that there's not a suitable alternative for some.

She has no language delay, so how would SALT help?

SALT is about much more than the physical ability to speak. If you suspect DD is ND she would benefit from SALT input.

OT and SALT can be separate to CAMHS and run alongside. You can have a referral alongside a CAMHS referral.

Provision under s.19 of the Education Act 1996 takes many forms as it is tailored to individual needs. It could be home tuition, online tuition, hospital school, tuition at a centre, an AP, a mentor, accessing the community, if DC can’t engage with anything directly it could be resources/a budget…

Many do decide to deregister and EHE, but in my opinion that is the wrong thing to do. Parents often find it easier to get support when their DC remains on the school’s roll even if they can’t attend. Crudely, you are someone’s problem whereas it is all too easy for others to sweep DC’s needs under the carpet if you EHE. Not the mention the LA will say you are providing suitable alternative arrangements thereby relieving them of their duties to provide education.

Instead, if attending school isn’t suitable parents should push for and enforce s.19 provision, and then an EOTAS package via an EHCP which can provide so much more than EHE unless you are extremely rich.

Thanks @JustKeepBuilding Seems her school are finally (and belatedly) wanting to engage and have been in touch with the attendance support team, so I think you're right about keeping her on the roll. They've said her absence may be able to go down as authorised if she's awaiting assessment. What I need to find out next is how soon we can get alternative education implemented. The school have said they can facilitate a reduced timetable, but I need to speak to the HT about that as it doesn't change the fact we cannot get her there wearing clothes. I self referred to an OT and had a call with her yesterday. It's all a bit complicated but she said she'd accept the referral, send me some home strategies to use, close the referral and then if no improvement in 2 weeks ask school to refer for a second time. In the meantime we're getting support from a private (but government funded for 5 sessions) consultant who specialises in sensory processing difficulties.

The absences should be recorded as authorised regardless of whether DD is awaiting assessment or not. If they are currently being recorded as unauthorised you need to challenge these.

For alternative education, email the Director of Children’s Services informing them of the situation and requesting provision under s.19 of The Education Act 1996. If you are ignored or the provision isn’t provided ASAP email again reminding them of their statutory duties and threatening judicial review if provision is not provided ASAP. If that fails contact SOSSEN for help with a pre-action letter.

Part time timetables should only be used short term with the aim of reintegration. Other than that DC should be in school full time or alternative arrangements made as well/instead to ensure DC receive a suitable, full time education.