I still want it in writing but the Head of SEN met with me today and confirmed that they will offer 32.5 hours of support (the whole school day) plus half-termly autism outreach from the specialist autism school and weekly support from a specialist teacher!
I was over the moon with that, but even more so when he offered me a place on the LEA SEN decisions/ strategy group.
I'd been feeling kind of selfish for accepting not going to Tribunal, because a new law was passed in November (I think I saw it on the IPSEA website) where Tribunal decisions don't just count for that particular child, but also any other similar cases where the LEA have made the same wrong decision. So one good decision for my son could have helped other parents/ children, and I bet that's partly why my LEA were crapping it!
So I said yes to being on this group because that way I can hopefully help them to make decisions which are actually fair and helpful to people in the same decision that I've been in. He said, "we want to learn lessons from what's happened in your case" and I do actually believe they might want to not get so much grief from parents like me!
He said "oooh, but the ADOS score made us realise why he needs full time support because he's obviously got really severe autism" and I said "yes, but it's not about a label or a diagnosis as some children wait ages to be diagnosed; it should be about needs and my son has had the same needs and behaviours for his whole life - a label only explains them - and it shouldn't have taken 3 years and a mountain of paperwork for the LEA to recognise his needs, just like it shouldn't have taken an MP letter and Tribunal application to get the Statement in the first place and now again to get the 23 hours raised."
He didn't argue!
And what I didn't challenge was the severe autism bit, because I'd got quite het up at his review the other day because I didn't like this idea that he has severe autism just based on the ADOS, as he's so verbal, so, well, high-functioning, which is why it's been so well masked (also by the ADHD) for all these years that he's actually autistic. I asked the CAMHS psychiatrist at the review what his 'label' was, and she said it's not an exact science - he has autism or Autistic Spectrum Disorder - but wouldn't be tied down to severe or not, just saying the score indicated severe difficulties, but his high intelligence and excellent language compensate for these to some degree.
Later she took me aside and said I shouldn't try to discount the LEA's view that the ADOS = severe autism as it will make them feel better about allocating so many resources!
So I shut up then.
So for once, happy me! I just need to sort out the DLA appeal now and then I will feel .
But even if I don't get the DLA sorted and I don't get the extra money, I've won the Social Services battle and now the most important one: the support for J, and that extra support for him is what's really important.
Thanks to those of you who've offered advice and support through all of this, espcially about writing to the MP because that seems to have really helped!
Looking forward to not having to go to Tribunal - I really might have gone under if I'd have had to do that.