Autism/ADHD 3 year old

[Mouscadoo]

Hello, my daughter is turning 3 in February and I was hoping for some opinions on some things that I have noticed with my daughter recently. Im struggling to know whether its just standard toddler behaviour or something else..some I've noticed more recently and some have been since she was a baby. She will be starting nursery in March so want to make sure she is properly supported and thrives there. Some of things that I have seen that have concerned me are:

Side eye glancing. She will do this periodically. This started from around age 1. We used to say she was giving us side eye. I never knew this can be connected to autism.

At different points in the day she will walk on her tip toes. I haven't noticed a pattern to it.

Can tolerate very hot temperatures but very sensitive to cold. Very high pain threshold from young age.

Poor awareness of danger or risk. She can climb things in the playground that are designed for much older children.

Extremely fidgety. When in bed will move around constantly until she is asleep. She scrapes the skin on our arms or plays with our hair as a comfort.

Hates mess on her hands. It doesn't cause meltdowns but she will stop what she is doing if her hands get messy and has to clean them.

Poor sleep. This has improved somewhat since she dropped her day time nap.

Limited diet. Mainly toast, fruit, Yoghurt, pastries.

Her speech is very good, always has been. Very wide vocabulary for her age. Great understanding and people often comment on how smart and pleasant she is. She will approach children and adults but this depends on how she's feeling on the day I think. She is affectionate and loving. Smart and funny.

Wondering would the above prompt others to look further into an assessment or not.

While some of the sensory things you mention are common in autistic or neurodivergent children, fundamentally autism is a condition that impacts social communication (I can’t speak for adhd as I don’t know very much about it) The triad of ‘impairments’ or differences, to use a better word, are:

impaired communication; impaired social skills; and a restricted and repetitive way of being-in-the-world.

I think you need to reflect a bit more on your paragraph about speech and consider how that aspect and her general communication differs from a typical child the same age. E.g. does she show joint attention? Does she generally answer to her name? Is her use of language typical? Does she seek adults out to communicate with or mainly to get needs met? Does she play well with other children or is she more shy than a typical child? Does she tend to copy what other children are doing to ‘fit-in’? Does she have any repetitive behaviours or rituals?

I think if you have some concerns regarding any of the above then you should definitely raise it with the GP or HV. You can raise it anyway, but I think without more you are likely to be given the ‘see how she goes’ line. Female presentation can often differ to the more typical male presentation and can be more subtle, but I think that families of people who are diagnosed ND later in life would still be able to talk about the ways they were different as a child, it’s just they didn’t know what or why it was then.

Thank you @openupmyeagereyes. I think that's why I have found it hard to decipher as she is generally very social. She does seek out children for the most part.. sometimes they don't know how to respond to her as she is quite confident and sometimes can be in their personal space but is this fairly standard for a 3 year old still learning. She will generally copy things that I say and use that which I would imagine is fairly typical of a nearly 3 year old also.

Sometimes she will just approach a child and stare at them, sometimes sticks her tongue out and doesn't know what to say. She always responds to her name and She does seek out adults for interaction and to get her needs met. She will recite stories and show things to adults and ask them to play. It's actually more the sensory issues that stand out to me I think.

It’s less about whether she’s sociable, it’s about whether her social skills are typical or not. How does dd seem compared to peers at the park or playgroups/nursery? Sometimes she will just approach a child and stare at them, sometimes sticks her tongue out and doesn't know what to say. this stands out for me, as does the getting in others personal space.

When you say she recites stories, are these stories she’s made up or stories she’s learned and is reciting which may be indicative of echolaia.

I’m not saying she’s autistic, I’m saying these are the things to look at. Often I think unless you see your dc a lot around other similar age children, and especially if they are your first, it’s easy to miss the more subtle differences.

It is also possible for a child to have sensory processing issues and not autism, so that’s definitely something to look into.

Yes its very much reciting things that she has already heard and she does get into other children's personal space. I do think the way she interacts is different to other children her age. She also tends to gravitate to older children.

We don't go to playgroups but on the occasion that we have she has kept to herself and hasn't been able to sit still. Flitting around whereas other kids can sit quietly. I suppose her being in a childcare setting with others will give more of a picture aswell. Thanks for the insight, it's very helpful

Hi, i just wondered if you had any updates as my son sounds very similar to your daughter x