Just wondering what the pros and cons are of going down the ASD diagnosis route? I've suspected there was something a little diverse about my 4 year old daughter since a young age. I'll post her little quirks below, for anyone who would like to have a read. We had a meeting with the school SENCO this week who agreed that the way DD is presenting at home, definitely looks like it indicates she is on the spectrum. She is ok at school at the moment, apart from the odd meltdowns here and there and struggling to move from one task to another. I guess now I have a small amount of validation that i'm not going mad, and that there is potentially something diverse going on - what do I do next? I feel like I don't have complete validation so can't get it off my mind, and question myself still. Should I accept that there is a chance she is on the spectrum, or get on the waiting list so we have the confirmation? Confused! I feel like my husband (and definitely my Mum) doesn't yet accept that her meltdowns aren't her being naughty... so maybe the diagnosis would be helpful in that respect. Any advice would be great please!
Here are her little quirks:
Struggles when things don't go as she expects. Very rigid in her expectations - easily throws a tantrum when things don't go as she has planned. This will happen throughout the day.
Follows rules/processes religiously and will point out if anyone is not following properly.
Can't settle well when staying over in a hotel or any location other than home - not good with change. Struggles to settle in a new environment
Gets fixated on certain routines e.g if she watched a goodnight song on my phone at bedtime once, she would then want it done every single night. It would prove very difficult to then get out of this ritual without meltdowns.
Struggles with choice. If you took her to a shop and said she could choose one chocolate treat, she would be in the aisle for ages trying so hard to choose.
Very wriggly - struggles to sit still.
Loves a cuddle but will wriggle constantly.
Very, very literal - hard to joke with her as she takes everything so literally. Have noticed she is becoming more and more literal.
Hugely logical for her age. Very smart.
Gets very easily frustrated - finds it hard to regulate her emotions.
Socially she seems OK. No best friends as such yet, but maybe too early to tell. Does get annoyed and not want to be friends with someone if they have done something or said something she doesn't like.
Eye contact seems OK.
Very clumsy
Went through a biting stage until age 3. Would get very frustrated then bite whoever or whatever was closest to her. Still likes to put things in her mouth. Finds comfort in chewing things/sucking her comforter.
I'd describe her as sensory sensitive.
Quite destructive - has ruined many toys by drawing on them, biting/chewing them etc. even though she knows not to. She just can't seem to help herself.
Has been potty trained since just before 3, but has regressed twice. First time she was suddenly scared to use the toilet and more recently has been weeing in her knickers for about a year now (not a full wee but enough to be wet) doesn't bother her at all. Does it every day but nothing we try works.
Sensitive to sounds - often questions what various sounds are. Covers her ears when she hears sounds she doesn't like - e.g. radiator clicking, hand dryers, owl sound etc. Hates people shouting, her sister singing, amongst many other things. Yet OK with some loud sounds e.g music.
Asks questions but when they are answered she often doesn't listen and then asks the question again and again. She then gets very frustrated thinking we haven't answered the question. Or if we answer the question differently to how she expects, she will have a meltdown.
Has tantrums very easily, gets upset and frustrated. Goes from 0 to 100 in seconds.
Has started lashing out - hitting and pinching with frustration/anger.
Always interrupts conversations and gets very angry when she has to wait for her turn to speak.
Shouts a lot. Yet hates others shouting.
Sucks her comforter to settle herself
Impossible to reason with her because she is so rigid in her thoughts.
Very sensitive to smells - often talks about smells and tells people they smell or highlights bad smells.
Huge reluctance to try new things - even when it is things she will very clearly like.
Seems to potentially mask at school, then explode when she gets home.
Her memory is incredible, never known anything like it! This causes issues in itself as she doesn't forget anything. She will get fixated on baking a cake for example, and will not forget it and will go on about it constantly and no amount of explaining why we can't do it that second helps deflect the situation. She will then get really angry and not listen or understand what we have said.
Food wise - she is ok at eating but she changes her mind about what she likes constantly and if I chop her toast in the wrong shape, or give her the wrong-coloured plate - all hell breaks loose. I think at nursery they used to ask that she at least tried the food, so now when I say she hasn't eaten enough dinner yet she fixates on the words "But I tried" thinking that means she has had enough. The other day - I said, you must eat 5 more pieces of chicken - she got one piece and broke it into 5! So cheeky, but her logic is incredible. She is becoming pickier with food.
Has had anxieties since about 2. She was once terrified of zebras and Hippos at the zoo (we used to go regularly with annual passes) and also terrified of swimming. Then she suddenly had a fear of wolves and the sound of wolves. Now she won't go into another room in the house without someone else.
Her speech and vocabulary is very good. Probably more advanced than her age. However she Struggles with communication e.g if her ipad isn't working she will screech and hit it rather than asking me for help whilst I'm in the same room.
From 2, we used to call her a bulldozer, as she didn't seem to have any spacial awareness or care for things in her vicinity. She also would do things like bend down to pick something up from under a table and then stand straight back up, forgetting there was a table above her.
Her poor sister takes the brunt of her frustration. Her sister is 7 and does not show any of these behaviours.
She seems to be getting progressively worse. Suddenly it seems like a switch has been flicked in her brain and she can no longer mask as well as she has been. We have started experiencing the meltdowns in public now.