I’m sure my 4yo is autistic. In fact I am sure that I am autistic too (I fulfil pretty much all the criteria on every list regarding female autism I’ve ever come across). But because DS is bright and very verbal, no one is especially interested. I would really like to at least have a referral in the pipeline before he starts school so that there is some kind of recognition that he might need some support but HV and GP aren’t bothered and nursery are very noncommittal.
- He was early to talk and has always been very chatty. However he does have slightly odd/eccentric speech patterns as he uses vocabulary not typical for a four year old and will repeat phrases and facts over and over.
- He has ARFID/an extremely limited diet (he is under a dietician). He has very few ‘safe foods’ and is currently classed as ‘failure to thrive’ as he is becoming increasingly underweight. He struggles to eat at all in busy situations and seems to have no appetite. He doesn’t recognise hungry cues. He is very particular about the foods he does eat eg. I had to re-do his bagel four times this morning before it was the correct colour and the butter quantity was right.
- He has very specific special interests and would watch videos/draw/read/talk about those things all day if able to.
- He gets very anxious about leaving the house or changes in routine. He becomes very argumentative or obstructive when ever an outing is suggested. Leaving the house for nursery is always difficult despite the fact he has a good time there.
- He is having increasingly frequent ?meltdowns. For example, he screamed, stomped his feet, ran up and down, and threw things for about 20 minutes this morning because I said he couldn’t watch a video. Even giving him what he wants or suggesting a resolution often does my help because he gets totally lost in the emotion and finds it really hard to regulate.
- He seems to behave much better (?masking) at nursery and thus I’m not sure they really ‘get it’? They know he’s a poor eater (he has to have his own ‘safe’ meal of choice and cannot eat their food), and obviously that he is bright and a bit eccentric but he seems much less volatile when there.
- He has been able to recite his times tables (up to 12) since before he was 4, and can read despite the fact I have made no effort with this.
- He seems to have a photographic memory and can quote facts or tell you about things that happened years ago, certainly from when he was 2. Eg. If we drive past a park/pub/someone’s house he can tell me when we went there, what the occasion was, who was there, and various specific details that wouldn’t even occur to me.
- He hates changes of temperature eg. Getting out of the bath always leads to screaming.
- He struggles with the feeling of certain clothing.
- He was quite late to walk (17 months) and is still quite uncoordinated. He’s incredibly cautious and doesn’t like playground equipment/bikes/scooters etc. His 2yo sister is more athletically able than him and could do a two footed jump before he could and has caught up with him in swimming lessons with ease.
- He seems very ‘low energy’ and is often tired.
- He does play with others at nursery to some extent but he isn’t able to approach children at the park for example. He doesn’t know how to initiate play with others but once involved in a game can become quite bossy and demanding. He gets a very specific idea about what should happen and can’t understand that others don’t have the same picture in their head or that they might not want to do what he says.
I don’t really know how much of this is typical for a four year old tbh. I’ve been shrugged off so many times that I feel like people just think I’m being a neurotic mother now. I’m really worried about school in September as he’ll be so bored academically but I think he’ll still need lots of support in other areas.
Am I just being ridiculous?