Selective mutism

[Freddiesextrateeth]

Hi,
We are starting to wonder if my 4 year old may have selective mutism. She's very vocal at home with her siblings and myself. It's when we see any other adults. She clams up. Freezes almost. Has a dead stare, may occasionally nod if someone she knows asks her a question-eg my mum. Can play with other children if her sister is also with her. We homeschool, so no teacher to say what she's like elsewhere. Although she does have plenty of groups to socialise with others. People comment on her all the time, 'your quiet', 'cat got your tongue', 'what's the matter', 'she's nothing like her sister'.. etc
She does talk to her dad occasionally, but lately it's becoming rarer. We have been in a social setting with our home Ed friends a few times. Week for over a year, and only last week did my friend gasp when she heard my daughter talk - She was talking to her sister an forgot herself - and exclaimed that's the first time she'd heard freida talk.
We have contacted gp and health visitor and have been given some info and told we can self refer through SPEECH AND language website.

Not sure what I want from this post. I suppose i just wondered if this sounds typical of a child with SM.? I'm not worried about her development outside of these social interactions, she doesn't stop talking at home 🤣

My son has selective mutism, a chatterbox at home but outside home, mainly at school he stops talking.

His facial expression changes to a kind of frozen look and won't look you in the eye, he may interact with hand gestures or a nod of the head but talking is something he can't do. Within school he will sometimes use a whisper voice to the teachers but cannot talk to his peers. His school friends have never heard his lovely voice and his teachers have never heard him speak in his voice he uses at home.

We were referred to speech and language by school and the GP, however they turned down our application citing, selective mutism is not a speech and language issue and did not cover their field.

It's been a long winding road for us, getting the help he needs.

So the frozen expression and hand gestures do suggest your daughter may have selective mutism.

It does sound like SM is a possibility. SM is within SALTs remit so do self refer.

It does depend on where your location is as to whether speech and language will accept the referral. We were pushed back from our SALT, citing it was not in there remit. Hopefully this is not the case for OP though.

Whether SM is a SALT issue or not doesn’t depend on where you live. Some services won’t/don’t accept referrals for many things, it doesn’t mean it isn’t a SALT issue. For example, many areas don’t accept sensory OT referrals but that doesn’t mean sensory differences aren’t an OT issue. If your local service won’t/can’t treat SM ask for a referral elsewhere. If DS has an EHCP SALT can be included in there too.

I agree it is a speech and language issue but my local SALT pushed us back because it isn't in there remit whereas I know in other area's of the country they would take on a child with SM so it does kind of depend where you live as to whether the referral will be accepted. They advised something on the lines of 'as he has the ability to speak and no issues with the language' basically case closed. Was obviously because they don't have a member of staff specialised in that area of SALT.

We have gone through hoops to get the help my son needs and finally have the help he needs, so we are in the right place now, in the right hands.

Definitely a good first step referring to SALT to get a diagnosis.

Parents whose DC have been refused local SALT provision can push for a referral out of area. Where you live really doesn’t have to mean no SALT.

@JustKeepBuilding I didn't know that you could get an out of area referral, this was never mentioned to me and its not something I thought to ask, thank you for the heads up on that.

We do have alternatives in place now but good to know if we have any set backs.

Try Smira:

www.selectivemutism.org.uk/

I believe selective mutism can be down to anxiety, but even so speech therapists can suggest strategies….