I am really struggling to navigate a particular situation with DD(8) and would be grateful for any advice.
DD has always been a bit over-friendly. It worked to her advantage as a young child and she was very popular for a while as she's generally got a very bright and happy disposition. Now that she's older, however, other children are finding her forwardness and overfriendliness a bit 'odd' and she's starting to be isolated by other children, which is really upsetting her as she is very sociable.
At the moment, she has just one good friend. They play together often at school, but not all the time (friend is very sporty, DD is generally very clumsy and really doesn't enjoy running around). Just before the Christmas break, she went on a residential trip and, although she enjoyed the activities, she was ganged up on within her dorm. Friend was in the group and, although she didn't join in, she didn't back up DD. This has left DD wanting nothing to do with her, as she feels her friend was 'with' the group.
I have talked this through with her in some detail because I was keen to explain the nuance of her friend not necessarily wanting to join in but also not wanting to become a victim. I'm confident DD would have stuck her neck out had roles been reversed, as she doesn't really consider the consequences of doing the right thing. She just knows it's right and then finds out later that sometimes that choice was the tougher one IYSWIM. Despite our chat, DD can't seem to forgive friend for how she behaved, and wants nothing more to do with her.
Unfortunately this includes me no longer giving friend lifts to brownies each week (her mum can't drive), which means friend will no longer be able to attend. So, by doing this, DD will be burning a bridge in a much more significant way than I think she can fully appreciate.
I feel like I generally know what to do with this stuff but I'm starting to really struggle. DD is incredibly sociable and she is already very lonely. I know I need to support her and be there to validate her feelings, but it's so hard watching her cut ties with the few people who are generally very kind to her and don't mind her quirks because I know it's only going to make things worse. Has anyone been in a similar position? Am I right to back up DDs feelings this time, even though there's a good chance it'll mean her only friend stops being her friend entirely?