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Heyjoewhatsup · 22/12/2022 14:41

DD8 has some concerning behaviours and I don’t know if/ where I should get help. I will try to give a brief summary. Any thoughts appreciated.

Early years: DD was late to talk, I wasn’t too worried but HV referred to SALT age 3. We discharged ourselves as she suddenly started talking- literally overnight all these words came flooding out. Never really had tantrums, was cared for by lots of trusted people (GPs, nursery). Easy happy child. Really great eater, no problems with TT etc.

School: Soon after starting reception we had lots of tantrums. Occasional night terrors. I asked school for help- just told she’s happy and settled at school, wants to go to school and no concerns.

Lockdown: during her 2nd term in reception lockdown happened. We had a baby and wfh, it was hell. Her tantrums were extreme. I reached out to HV / school for help again. Just told everyone was struggling.

Y1 and Y2: teachers reported DD doing well academically but very quiet. DD popular but playing 1:1 or 1:2. Starts playing with reception children and avoiding peers.

At home during Y1/2 we see lots of tantrums during term, aversion to brushing/washing hair, scared of loud noises, food fussiness, nail biting and repeated worms, repeated thrush and staph infections, night terrors. Complaining often of stomach aches. Lots of GP visits- basically no concern. Talked to school - no concerns.

Y3: tantrums more extreme. Teacher says her behaviour is excellent, academic progress is good, but she never talks in lessons. She does read in guided reading though. She continues to play 1:1/2 children, lots of invites to parties and kids coming up asking for play dates / to play, she does choose to exclude herself but also does engage at times. She appears to be very popular and she’s a reputation for being very kind and emphatic among teachers and our friends/family.

This month, she’s barely eating anything, besides little bits. Refusing breakfast and dinner. All transitions are challenging- bath, school, days out. Not sleeping well, toe nails now bitten right down in addition to fingers, stomach and headache complaints. Talked to teacher again- no concerns besides the not talking.

Does this sound like anxiety? I get migraines, could it be that? My DD won’t talk about it, we’ve bough so many mental health books for kids, tried the journals, not engaging. I wish there was one which was story based, she loves reading.

Are these things possibly related or just a coincidence and normal for kids? And I’m linking things not related. When she started school we’d moved house and had baby, then lockdown was not kind to us.

Sadly, I’m dreading Christmas and all the inevitable meltdowns. I try to stay calm and supportive but I do run out of patience and get upset and show it, which I know makes it worse.

OP posts:
Heyjoewhatsup · 22/12/2022 14:42

Oh my gosh sorry that’s so long. When I write it down it feels a lot.

OP posts:
Heyjoewhatsup · 22/12/2022 14:48

Should also say besides the not talking, we get a LOT of baby talking and she’s cultivated a lisp which comes out often at home.

We are a very loving, cuddly family. She smiles and laughs, tells us she loves us/ sibling / grandparents etc. We have lots of time for her, and DH wfh and does a lot of the pickups, both very involved and available. She gets a lot more attention than our little one.

OP posts:
SachiLars · 23/12/2022 08:11

Didn’t want to read and run. Not really in my experience to comment. I think trying to keep a diary of meltdowns / triggers could help you to spot patterns and also help you to communicate with professionals.

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