Differing eye contact with different people

[PragmaticWench]

We've seen the paediatric consultant today after filling in questionnaires for DD's possible ASD. The consultant asked me if it was usual for DD to avoid eye contact. I said that yes, DD avoids eye contact with most adults and definitely with those she doesn't know well, but with me DD makes LOTS of eye contact in comparison.

Is this typical with ASD, that eye contact can vary between how well a child knows the person, or would it be the same amount of eye contact with everyone?

Anyone?

For some this can be normal.

Thank you, I just don't know what to expect from the assessment at the moment!

Hi, my asd son did this exact same thing. He gave me lots of eye contact but no1 else really. I was always really motivating for him. He also hugs me a lot. Whereas with everyone else including sister he doesnt like to hug or give much eye contact

I can't say anything useful on how statistically prevalent this is, but my DS was a lot like this when he was younger (now 4). During lockdown it took ages to notice he didn't make as much eye contact with others because we saw so few people together, and the few we did (grandparents mainly) he had a fairly normal amount of eye contact. And he'd always made tons of eye contact with me and his dad.

As he's growing in confidence in social situations he seems to be voluntarily making a lot more eye contact with a wider range of people, but it's been a noticeable enough change over the last two years.

Totally anecdotal, but that's my experience.

Yes it is (I'm autistic and my special interest is autism too lol)

My 2 year old son 3 in April has only just started giving a lot of good eye contact to me his dad and close family. Took him a while but he got there.

Hi OP,

Can you provide an update on your child? Kind of sailing in a similar boat with my DS.

Thanks in advance.

Hi @Ppan12 , we did eventually go through the ADOS assessment and DD received a diagnosis of ASD. That was the start of 2024 and over that year waiting we saw more and more traits, but questioned ourselves. The assessment was done by two ASD specialist Occupational Therapists and a Consultant Paediatrician who all agreed they saw clear signs.

DD is now 12 and fine with her diagnosis. Senior school have been amazing settling her in and really proactive in providing her with accommodations, even things we'd not thought of. DD does make eye contact with unfamiliar adults but says it makes her uncomfortable, so it's less than you'd expect for a neurotypical child. We've had people say they wouldn't have known DD was autistic but she masks well out of the house and really, most people don't study other people's children in great detail!

Not sure if that helps at all?