IM SO ANGRY-im shaking

[jenk1]

there was a meeting held with dd,s nursery and our hv on 31 jan re dd,s toileting difficulties.

we were on holiday and had asked for another date to be set.

they went ahead anyway.

outcome/';

there is no indication to state that dd shouldnt be toilet trained and that parents need to set a date to get her out of nappies and into knickers.

this despite her paed writing nursery a letter stating that she has incontinence difficulties due to her CP.

i need to take this further but am not sure how.

sorry to hear nursery are plaguing you about the toilet training. I agree with mymatemax - that it sounds rather an uncomfortable situation for you if HV has loyalty to nursery staff etc, rather than just to kids/families on her caseload. Does the primary you want DD to go to have a nursery you could transfer her to?

no, unfortunately it doesnt.

there is another nursery, but its a private one, but i will make enquiries tomorrow, as its not run by the LEA im not sure how it will affect the tribunal thats upcoming etc.

The headteacher was waiting for me this morning, all smiles "ill just see that she settles in ok" i said nothing to her.

I've very sympathetic. I have a child with hemiplegia and it took years to get him toilet trained. I had to put up with an enormous amount of flak from social services about how I wasn't trying hard enough, it was anti-social to have a child who wasn't toilet trained, etc.

I had a run-in with a family support worker who told the teachers at my son's special needs school that what I was saying about the psychiatrist at child guidance telling me it could take up to two years to get him toilet trained was complete nonsense and my son could be trained in four days if only I was bothered. I had to persuade a teacher to accompany me to child guidance to convince her that I was telling the truth.

I'm sorry if this is more about me than about you and your problem but your post stirred up some extremely painful memories for me. I wish you luck. At least you have one professional who is one your side. Keep battling.

Mt Ds' SN nursery keep talking about toilet training and he is 3.5 - I know that have sat him on the loo which he hates.

In your 6th para I would add 'Cerebral Palsy and associated incontinence problems.

Good luck, does seem odd to me that an HV of one child can be on the govs of the nursery they attend.

emails gone to the headteacher-
had an acknowledgement this morning that she will reply about the issues raised as soon as she is "able".

one gone to the exec director of education and another gone to the exec director of the primary care trust.

so im just waiting now to see how they respond.

got a reply from nursery.

it says that at OUR request the meeting was changed from 17 jan to 31 jan.

This is not true as we were still abroad and did not get back until 31 jan, we had asked for a meeting to be arranged in february.
no letter was sent inviting us to the meeting.

they said that the hv has access to all medical records of children on their case load so the hv would have had access to the letter from the paed.

then it says on th 31st jan when we didnt show up for the meeting, a discussion did take place but that written consent was not saught from us as they had invited us to the meeting and it was a meeting about a developmental issue.

such complete lies, we never had a letter telling us about the meeting nor did anyone from nursery tell us.

she hasnt replied about the toilet training, i suspect she,s been told not to as the head of SEN is investigating it and no doubt we will get more bllcks from them.

Sorry but these so called "trained" nursery teachers are obviously not suitably qualified or experienced to deal with the needs of your dd.

Change nurseries then complain in the strongest possible way to who ever will drop them in the biggest pile of Sh*t they can.
How dare they meet without you and presume to know better that a qualified paediatrician. I would be livid!