Does anyone just cry with the realisation for everything.

[Polly421]

Hi

Ive just been so overwhelmed with everything lately and been crying quite a bit the last few days.

My little girls was about 1 year old when I realised she was autistic and she as diagnosed on Tuesday along with learning disabilities. She’s just turned 4, my son who’s 2 is non verbal and today we had a speech and language assessment and for right now they won’t take on his case as he simply isn’t ready. His autism is looking more severe and has greater learning disabilities than my daughter and our plan for him is to get him into a specialised nursery as they believe mainstream simply won’t be able to accommodate his needs.

Ive always known their different to my older two boys but just this week it’s seems to be hitting me more and more. I keep trying to reassure myself that the way I’m feeling is valid. Does anyone ever feel like me? Where it’s hits you, you feel a mixture of fear, sadness and overwhelming anxiety of what the future holds for your little ones.

its very normal to feel the way you describe.

but you sound like a mum who’s already thinking about the next steps and a specialised nursery maybe the way to go for both children. My son was the same. Only I shut my eyes to the possibility of a specialist nursery thinking a mainstream
nursery would change him. It didn’t and it only made him miserable. You have the foresight to see that a specialist nursery is the way to go.

it’s a different parenting path, but your children will still have a childhood, and it’s your job to give them the best one. You’ll still hit Milestones, they’ll be different and maybe later, but it will happen.

You have 2 older children, you’ve experienced a different parenting path with them, this is just different with your younger children but it will be wonderful too.
I can promise you that.

Thank you @Lesley25 the speech and language therapist and health visitor said the same get him on the path the now will make it easier in the long run for transitioning to school. I’m just highly emotional this week but I know I’ll get through it and the younger kids will have a different but just as wonderful path as my older boys.

Absolutely. I cried almost non stop for 3 days when ds was diagnosed. Like you, I recognised it early and I battled for a diagnosis so I really should have taken it in my stride. But when it was officially pronounced, it just hit me how hard things would be for him, for me, for our little family.

It wasn’t a rejection of him; he wasn’t any different and anyway I’m ND myself (though I hadn’t figured that out then) so I wasn’t particularly conventional in my expectations.

I’m not going to tell you how you should it shouldn’t feel; you have to feel it. But I will say this. You’re going to so important in your dc’s lives and it’s vital to include your needs in any support plans. Try not to run yourself ragged. Pushing down your feelings or working out of guilt are not healthy and will sap energy. So for now, just feel what you feel and give yourself grace. Where you’re at and how you’re feeling is 100% valid (but the intensity will wane in a short while)

Thank you@Andsoforth I was expecting the diagnosis but didn’t expect it to hurt so much in reality but we’ve had a lovely weekend as normal so that’s cheered me up. Just need to take each day at a time at the moment but we will get where we need to be.

Yes, I totally get how you are feeling. My little boy is 3.8 and he was seen by the Development Paed in November. He is now on the pathway for ASD assessment. Although I know he has a severe expressive speech delay (albeit improving slowly) it was still a real punch in the stomach to hear from a professional that she was certain he was autistic and he would require support. Today we had a lovely educational psychologist observing him in the nursery and I was praying she would see something different and that my DS had a bad day with the pead consultant. However, she reconfirmed what the pead had said. Everytime I think about it I start crying. As well as the speech delay he has sensory processing issues with touch. I'm still hopeful of mainstream as he has good understanding & concentration but really I don't know just feel in limbo right now. But yes I know exactly how you feel, it just feels very unfair that our beautiful wee children are going to have this struggle in front of them x

Yes, I know what you mean. Sometimes it’s the frustration of not being able to do normal things. I had a low point trying to put makeup on the other week because my boy started flinging all my stuff around. Quite often it’s the impact it has on my eldest who doesn’t get some of the opportunities I’d like to give him. The worst is looking into the future. I’ve just stopped doing that.

@Polly421
Hi there, know this is old thread. Just wondering how your getting on now? X