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[ALMummy]

Does this sound familiar to anyone?

DS is nearly 5.

These are the things I have noticed.

He does not seem to hear people when they speak to him unless he is expecting it. He always hears me and members of his family but his teachers have told me that he does not listen very well at school and I often have to prompt him to respond when others speak to him or to greet others.

He has never really done the Why? thing. He is quite happy with how things are and doesnt really question anything. He is interested in his environment and does notice things going on around him but I think I can count on one hand the times he has questioned why something is happening or has to be done.

He used to until recently cover his ears at loud noises like the hoover, drills outside etc and is still absolutely terrified of hand dryers in toilets. He is also completely terrified of getting his hair cut but that has improved slightly recently but only with massive bribes.

He is obsessed with toys. Looking at them, getting them, talking about them and it is really hard to get him off the subject. In the end I just have to refuse point blank to talk about them anymore but he will still keep going trying to get a response.

Developmentally he seems fine. Toilet trained ok, eats and sleeps ok but has some strange ideas about food. Says he is scared of certain fruits and vegetables. He is learning to read, loves books etc. Does not like writing though and still has problems knowing how to hold his cutlery and pens etc.

He occasionally has huge, screaming tantrums if he doesnt get his own way. Doesnt get violent or anything but just goes nuts and this can go on for an hour or more.

The best way to sum him up is that he seems to do everything that other kids do but just not so much. His behaviour and conversation do not seem to come naturally. He just seems completely self possessed and unquestioning but then every couple of weeks he will say something so surprising and observant that I can hardly believe it was him that said it.

I know others have a lot more difficulties than this but I just wondered if anyone could give me some ideas. I cant seem to put my finger on it but he just seems ever so slightly off key if you know what I mean by that? Sorry for long post. Thanks.

It does not sound like there is anything too much wrong, if he is talking, coping in school etc. The tantrums, lack of eye contact and ear-covering do sound slightly aspergers, but to be honest he'd have to have quite a few more behaviours to get a aspergers diagnosis. One theory I have heard goes that all boys/men are to some extent or other on the autistic spectrum, as it's a very male condition. Boys at my daughter's school are obsessed by playing cards, while the girls socialise and play house - I think that is pretty normal gender difference stuff. If you are worried, the GP can do a Chat test and set your mind at rest. The other question which is apparently very helpful in diagnosing anything like autism is - does he point to show you something of interest to him, which he wants to share with you? Apparently this is called proto-declarative pointing, and is one very good indicator of a child on the autistic spectrum. Does he make friends and have social skills, that is another good pointer. If you have an instinct something is not quite right, you may be right, but sometimes boys are just boys I think. Good luck anyway!

He is young but some of the things you have described could be indicative of an autistic spectrum disorder. On the other hand these behaviours are also found in NT children. I think if you have concerns then you should talk them over with either your GP or your child's teacher.

Agree with Dusty, go and have a chat with your GP. IF there is a problem, its far better to find out, so that if things become a problem in the furture they can be better dealt with. You also need to express your concerns to school, they may feel it appropriate for him to be assessed by the educational pshycologist.

Does sound a bit Aspergic. The responding to name thing and the obsessive thing ring bells. The why thing also rang true for me - my son was just the same. Why is apparantly the last question you learn and a delay is sometimes indicative of ASD or Speech and language probs. Just as others have said got to GP and/or get school to ask ed psych to look at him (be warned though they might take an age to visit). SALTS are very useful as well. It may be he is semantic pragmatic.

I think if you have a niggling doubt then get it checked because if it is a something then he needs help to access the curriculum and the world.

Mine is going to be 13 tomorrow and he is the loveliest boy in the universe

Thank you for your responses. This had been niggling at me for a while now and I think I have already accepted that there is something. I asked myself would i prefer him as he is now with Aspergers or ASD or as a different boy without it and I know that I would not change a thing about him. He is gorgeous.

Do I have to be the one to request a ed psych visit? The only thing his teachers have said is that sometimes he doesnt listen very well. DH is very resistant. He thinks that if DS if doing ok then we should say nothing and just see how he goes on. My biggest worry though is that we are asking too much of him and maybe he is being told off for things that he cant help. Other kids dont seem to notice anything about him and he seems to have been accepted by all the kids in his class. He loves school. Would you maybe see how it went or get things moving? It does not seem to be affecting him greatly at the moment. He is very bright.

He does point things out and I do remember him doing that from quite early on. I have a DD too and while I do see a lot of differences in them I dont see her as being all that different to him developmentally at this stage. She is 17 months. It is the is he/isnt he? I feel like I have been worrying forever.

Its not really an Ed psyc that you need, as there are no problems at school IYKWIM.

I would go and see your GP and ask for a referal to a developmental pead.

It will probably take about 4/6 months for an appointment to come through, so you will have plenty of time for you to think things over.

Hope this helps and good luck

AlMummy
I could have written your post a few months ago, as your DS is very similar to my DS but for a few differences:

He is nearly 5

• He used to be scared of haidryers and dryers in public toilets , but has grown out of it so much that now he plays with them (especially the ones in the public toilets!)

• He used to hate having his hair cut, because of fear of scissors until he was 3 - but now he will seat still and enjoy his haircut as long as he gets a sticker at the end

• He always asked why questions since he was 3, however at the time it would just be why over and over- wasn't listening to answer iyswim, but now will ask Why about something and then will make his own remarks - i.e. After I read him "The ugly ducling" story he asked: Mummy why is everybody mean to the ugly duckling? - answer: because he's different, and DS remark: "that's not fair, he's a nice duckling!"

• He shows a lot of empathy with people if he believes they are sad or not well

• he's very affectionate not just with me and dp, but also with friends little children (he will cuddle them and give them a hug when they are leaving.)

all the other traits though are similar, especially when you say that occasionally he has huge tantrums and then it's difficult to stop him until he gets his own way- this normally happens at home though, it's never happened in school.

He's clumsy socially in class and teacher thinks he hasn't got enough attention span and suggested to have him observed as she believes something is wrong with him.

Nursery always tought he was a star. GP thinks he's absolutely normal for his age.

I don't mean to hijack your thread, but it would be great to hear some comments from you and other more experienced mums on this section as this is really worrying me at the moment.

TIA