What does this sound like to you?

[squinny101]

I have a DD (age 2.5). Since she has been about nine months old I have had a niggling feeling that something is not quite right with her.

From this age until she was about one she would head bang and get into a furious rage. THis has now stopped but her behaviour I feel is a little more than a terrible two. I have asked the health visitor on several occasions but they just tell me its developmental.

This is just a rough outline of her behaviour.

1. She is obsessed with tiny things. At the moment she thinks she is a cat. It sounds funny but this has now been going on for about three months and she miaow's when people talk to her.
2. She lets out a really really high pitched scream when she does nto get her own way. Her tantrums are unbelievable and she attacks her brother.
3. She falls over constnatly and she is always charging round like a bull in a china shop.
4. She refuses to make eye contact with you when you talk to her.

When its just the two of us she is absolutel fine, the mintue we get to the school to collect her brother she starts showing off, running away, throwing tantrums etc.

She is at pre-school and has settled in nicely, I know the ladies there and have asked them how she socially interacts and they have told me that they do not see that she has aproblem.

Is this either that she is a 'terrible two and a complete attention seeker' or do you feel that there is something underlying hte behaviour. I've always felt the same way that ther is something I can't quite put my finger on.

We do have a difficult relationship and sometimes I become so exasperated with her. I love her very much but sometimes I feel like I hate her.

I have suffered depressin in the past and wonder if this just that I am suffereing from PND again.

Can someone please help me!

You do not mention her talking, but is that is because it is all ok? And also, does she point out things to you to show you them? I would think if she is coping in pre-school then there can't be too much of a problem, but if there is even a mild touch of aspergers (and I'm not saying that, I am no expert) it's best to see a GP and get her checked out possibly by a paediatrician, as the sooner you intervene in behaviours the better chance you have of changing them. 2 is a very difficult age though - maximum moblility and minimum common sense, I seem to remember! You can control the tantrums, my DS was terrible and we have used some behaviour therapies (eg ignoring, or time-outs or aversive therapy) to control his bad behaviours. My therapists are adamant you should ignore tantrums, as otherwise the child learns it's a good strategy and escalates it. You hold their arm, so they can't come to harm, turn your head away and make no eye contact or conversation till she goes totally quiet. This can take a while, but it's important that you wait till all sobs, screaming etc have stopped. Then you look at her very happily and excitedly and say, right, shall we do (x) then, where (x) is something fun. It is hell for a while, but gradually they realise the tantrum has no effect. Don't mind people looking at you, most people have seen Supernanny etc now and know about the ignoring technique. Screaming, which they also see as attention-seeking behaviour, gets the same treatment. Good luck!