I honestly feel like I’m stuck and struggling with what’s best.
I have 3 children with asd, and ld.
My older 2 are in an amazing Sen school, all their needs are met. They both started in mainstream, and it was awful. The school was great, but hell do I wish they started there. They were pushed with things they were unable to do, and now their education is so much better, it’s not all about reading and maths, it’s about their emotions, social skills, diet, confidence building going out places etc (my son esp wouldn’t leave the house and now he enjoys new places). All round they have developed so many skills. They also get therapy weekly and my son speech therapy daily although discharged from hospital.
They struggled in mainstream, screamed shouted, threw things etc….
My other daughter, not has a ehcp, and is at mainstream, she is 2 years behind (although we deferred her so in her class a year behind).
She is the opposite, she is so anxious she won’t do anything wrong, for example only drinks juice but even after 3 years of teachers telling her it’s ok, she won’t drink at school as feels it’s naughty 🤦🏼♀️. She comes home emotional. She has lots of empathy and is a real kind/caring child. Children like to be around her as she is the kind kid but it can’t go much further as she literally has no play skills. She has a super restricted diet. Speech therapy have just discharged her as her needs are due to her autism and ld. She doesn’t have very good understanding, she has no idea what history is so the history topics she thinks is happening now 🤦🏼♀️.
I feel my older 2 have so many opportunities and I feel guilty she hasn’t. As she is getting older, her whole school day is work, and it’s so much for her, she won’t moan and she will just keep trying. She is really anxious about getting anything wrong. At home she struggles to wait, loose at games etc. at school she holds it together, which is great but at the same time I feel she isn’t actually learning them skills. My older 2 do cooking try new food etc, when my daughter doenst get any of that and literally lives of chocolate sarnies 🤦🏼♀️. She would get speech therapy at sen school and be able to be her self. However she is failing at mainstream, she is learning (although at her pace). Her maths is pretty good, however it has to be visual, so she is in year 2 and can do number bonds to 10 if it’s visual, but she can’t other wise. I’m thinking of trying to move her to the my older 2 school, but I’m worried maybe she could cope in mainstream? Like she is perfectly behaved, but she isn’t her self. I feel guilt for her, the other 2 get to learn in such a great environment. I’m really worried the work will get harder and she will struggle to keep up.