Meltdown over clothes

[SachiLars]

This is a fairly recent change but I don’t know how to handle it. In September he was wearing his new school uniform and looked so lovely and smart! But this morning I had to physically wrestle him into it.

His jumper was first to be rejected so we bought some thermal vests. This was fine for a week or so but now they’re totally not ok either.

it’s really haphazard what is ok and not ok from time to time.

It’s such a stressful start to the day for both of us as it’s full blown meltdown. Half wish I could send him to school in his pyjamas.

He’s 4yo and non-verbal ASD so he can’t even tell me what the problem is.

does anyone have any suggestions?

Only really to look at adaptive ranges sold at places like M&S, which are soft and have no labels etc.

What sort of clothes is he comfortable in at home?

Does he have a picture board of what happens in the morning? That can sometimes help, especially with him being non-verbal.

@openupmyeagereyes he is happy in his pyjamas which as just cotton ones. He wears his nappy ok too.

The strangest thing about it is how quickly he’s turned from 100% ok to 100% not ok with it in a few months.

@PritiPatelsMaker no, we don’t. But it’s a very strong routine so I’m not sure it’s that. He will run away into another room so he knows what is happening.

How is he at school? Could not wanting to wear the uniform his way of expressing that he doesn't want to go to school?

This might not have anything to do with uniform specifically. It could be a sign of wider anxiety that is manifesting itself in this way. How is DS getting on at school? Is he receiving enough support?

Does DS have an EHCP? Does it include sensory OT provision?

If cotton pyjamas are ok have you tried pure cotton uniform? If DS needs to wear e.g. joggers and a normal t-shirt the school should make reasonable adjustments for him.

Could you ask school if he can just wear pjs to school?

My DD had this when she had to wear PE kit (they still do on PE days). She is verbal so slightly easier to work out, but still took a while to tease out of her that it was because she didn't like PE. We still have moments, but now they're aware of the issue school have put some stuff in place for PE lessons.

OP if the school are not reporting any problems and he’s non-verbal , I think you have to first try and eliminate the obvious issue that it may be a sensory aversion to the clothing. School should be able to accommodate more suitable clothing (jogging bottoms for instance) under a reasonable adjustment. If you rule this out and there are other school difficulties you may have to broaden your approach. How good is his receptive language? Does he use PECS or anything?

Thanks for all the input. Plenty to mull over.

He seems to really like school. As soon as his coat and shoes are on he insists on waiting in the porch for the transport bus to arrives and skips off to get on it. So I don’t think it’s that….

He’s got PECS and mostly requests food with it. Sometimes sensory toys so I’m not sure how it’s go with that. Receptive language is probably about a dozen words / phrases.

I was just wondering if it would be possible to work out what the issue is using whatever communication aids he’s using but it sounds like that’s not likely at the moment.

More comfortable clothing might be all he needs then based on your update. It might take some trial
and error though.

@openupmyeagereyes yes, I agree. Trial and error it will have to be. He’s not a morning person at all which doesn’t help.

Hi,
I had something similar a few months ago. Refused to put uniform on. Then refused all other clothing. Labels etc don't really bother him. My son also non verbal, and loves nursery. Was told by ot to try deep pressure hugs when getting anxious. However for my ds it seems more of a control issue. After a few days of not pushing clothes and showed that we where going he put clothes on without a fuss. Hope your able to figure out.

I empathise op. My dd is verbal and currently undiagnosed but we've experienced uniform and seatbelt refusal and likewise it's really hit and miss as to what's OK and what isn't on any given day. I've been that parent wrestling her into clothes and in the end it got so bad I did end up taking her to school in PJs and dealing with it once she was there, and calmer. I was advised to do that on the basis that the morning struggle only added to the anxiety she already felt. Her teachers said she was enthusiastic and happy during the day, no obvious signs of anxiety. But her behaviour told a different story.

Since then, I've worked out that things most children get excited about can be a real challenge for dd. This latest uniform refusal has coincided with rehearsals for her Christmas play, various parties, Christmas jumper days etc - I.e. a change in her normal routine. As soon as I acknowledged that this morning, empathised with her, we made better headway. But that's with a verbal child (albeit she struggles to identify what's bothering her and communicate it to us). Her clothing issues are as a result of her needing to feel in control. She has bigger problems the more out of her routine she feels.