Tips for managing teenage DD

[JubileeTrifle]

DD 13 is awaiting diagnosis but is certainly ASD. She started presenting with anxiety and depression initially.

The main issue I’m having is how to manage her moods. So she didn’t want to go anywhere today and was getting on with a project but it didn’t go the way she wanted so ends in a meltdown.

If she is occupied, she is happy. I am struggling to find things to occupy her time though. She has things she wants to get on with and if it goes well that’s fine, but if it doesn’t….. she has ‘high standards’ of how things should go. I’ve actually got Lego out of the loft to see if that can help tomorrow.

getting her to go out and do things is very hit and miss and depends on her mood. If she’s already down it’s just not worth it and does not help, especially if places are noisy/crowded.

I think part of the reason we coped previously is that it was easy to give her things to do for an hour etc. when she was young. bloody teenager is impossible though. A mood can just ruin the whole day for all of us though. It’s hard to get her back out of it.

sorry I’ve realised that not a specific query. I’m just looking for good tips dealing with a ASD teenager who is very up and down.

Bumping after another miserable day.

refused to go out, Lego didn’t help, miserable as she ‘hates weekends’. Sigh

Have you looked at anything to help with DD’s sensory differences?

Also, is DD receiving any support for emotional regulation and communication and perfectionism?

How is DD at school and is she receiving support there? If school was easier for her, home life would improve.

We are that early stage where I am still waiting for more help. She did see CAHMS and it wasn’t appropriate so we are meant to be seeing someone else (through school) but they have dragged their heels (that’s another issue I’m spending a lot of time sorting at the moment and a third party is now involved).

She is only in school for very short periods of time, hopefully more soon. School being slow about things is also causing her stress. Why I’ve had to get someone else involved to force their hand.

i think if she was in school more then the weekends wouldn’t seem like such a drag after being at home so much.

If DD isn’t able to attend school full time are the LA provided alternative provision and have you applied for an EHCNA?

In some areas you can self refer to OT, it’s worth seeing whether you can in your area. Not all areas commission sensory OT on the NHS but it’s worth a referral. Have you tried noise cancelling headphones/ear defenders? Also ask the school if they use anything like Zones of Regulation.

We haven’t even been put on the SEN register yet (one of the complaints that’s gone in).

She has 2 people who work 1:1 with her but not enough so we are pushing for more. Her timetable is meant to be being revised but hasn’t.

we just got some noise cancelling headphones this week!

You can request an EHCNA yourself now. Don’t wait for the school. IPSEA have a model letter you can use on their website.

In the meantime under s.19 of the Education Act 1996 the LA should be making alternative arrangements to ensure DD receives a suitable, full time education. If that isn’t happening email the LA’s Director of Children’s Services requesting provision. If they refuse email again reminding them of their statutory duties and informing them if they refuse you will be forced to begin judicial review proceedings. Then if they still refuse contact SOSSEN for help with a pre-action letter.