WWYD - adhd child made to cry by teacher

[Chiwawa]

DS (12), with ADHD, was feeling poorly and sad (had been pushed around in the corridors and said other kids being mean to him) so he took himself to a quiet place when he should have been registering for a lesson. A teacher found him and started yelling at him and made him cry. He isn't a crier. He was crying so hard he was struggling to speak. Teacher then berated him for not having his blazer on and when DS remonstrated that the teacher only cared about his uniform and not that he had made a child sad, he sent him to an isolation room for the rest of the day. He was found in there, not sure who by, but was asked to write an account of the events by the Head - again not sure why, or whether this is standard practice if a kid is sent to the isolation room. He was also released to his lessons, again not sure who by. The teacher who yelled at him is fully aware of his background and is on SLT.

Would you a) leave it, b) log a concern, c) log a complaint.

Am keeping a file of all comms with the school anyway.

D) I would contact the school (tutor/HoY/SENCO depending on who you have a relationship with) to inform them of the other pupils being unkind and ask for their version of events.

Where was the quiet place? Does DS have a time out card and if so where should he go when he uses it? What did remonstrating actually consist of?

The other pupils aren’t what I’m worried about particularly, it’s the behaviour of the teacher. The school knows DS feels socially isolated - this teacher knows because of a previous convo I had had with him about something else.

The quiet place was a bench in the playground . Think it was near the PE area but not totally sure.

I’ve told the senco. She can’t advise me what to do re complaints etc I don’t think.

Remonstrating means saying to the teacher “is my uniform all you care about, not that you made me sad?”

I have a copy of my son’s written version of the events which is consistent with what he’s told me.

No, the SENCO can’t advise you whether to complain or not, but they can investigate what happened, inform you of the school’s version of events (often different to the pupil’s), make a better plan for the future (e.g. a set place to go to when upset/overwhelmed as the school can’t have DS wandering off to random places and if necessary a pass for uniform adjustment) and deal with the other pupils (which was the initial trigger).

Remonstrating means saying to the teacher “is my uniform all you care about, not that you made me sad?”

How was the said? As it has the potential to come across very defiantly.

Does DS have an EHCP?

I think it was probably choked out through tears from what I can ascertain from the statement. The teacher probably did think it was defiant but in those circumstances I feel it was a reasonable question? A large male teacher shouting at a 12 year old when you have told him you feel ill and sad? I don’t even see the relevance of his blazer being off in the situation. The teacher’s responsibility should first and foremost be the welfare of a vulnerable child, surely. The teacher provoked him by yelling at him and sent him to an isolation room instead of making sure he was ok and I think that’s completely unjustifiable if true.

maybe some more fact finding is needed though - although I don’t have any reason to mistrust what my son told me.

DS does not have a EHCP he has only just been diagnosed. The meeting with the senco was to agree a support plan.

A large male teacher shouting at a 12 year old when you have told him you feel ill and sad?

This isn’t what you said in your OP though, which is why I think you need to speak to the school about what happened. It is more likely the teacher shouted at DS before DS had said he felt ill and sad because he was, to their knowledge, truanting.

The teacher’s responsibility should first and foremost be the welfare of a vulnerable child, surely.

Which is why the school can’t have him wandering off to random places.

I don’t even see the relevance of his blazer being off in the situation.

Some schools have a rule about wearing the blazer when moving around the school site &/or asking permission to remove it. If DS needs an adjustment to that you need to speak to the SENCO about it.

The teacher probably did think it was defiant but in those circumstances I feel it was a reasonable question?

I don’t think it is a reasonable question to ask as it isn’t going to help the situation and comes across as rude and defiant, even if DS didn’t mean it that way.

I'm dismayed that it is considered ok that a senior teacher should shout at a child before finding out why he was sitting quietly on a bench. He wasn't endangering anyone or disrupting anything. If the teacher had done some fact finding himself in a calm way first, perhaps the outcome could have been quite different.

I appreciate that there are rules around uniform and DS understands those, but again, dismayed that it is considered OK in these circumstances to berate a child about his blazer when he has just told you he is ill and feeling sad and who, at that point, has burst into tears because you just yelled at him. Are teachers no longer allowed to exercise their professional judgment or do they have to enforce rules simply because they exist?

Assuming it did come across as defiant, is sending a child to an isolation room proportionate in these circumstances? I think it sounds pretty OTT. The medical room feels more appropriate.

Interesting challenges though, thatsnotmycar at least I can see how the school may see things differently.

He wasn't endangering anyone or disrupting anything.

But DS was. He endangering himself by wandering off. If anything had happened staff would not have known where he was. Which is why I said speak with the SENCO to come up with a better plan for the future for somewhere specifically to go when DS is overwhelmed to prevent a repeat of this situation. And the teacher probably saw him as truanting, which is disruptive.

Many schools do enforce blanket uniform rules. Whether that’s right or wrong is a separate matter, they do and if DS needs adjustments or an exemption you need to broach that specially which the SENCO can help with.

Assuming it did come across as defiant, is sending a child to an isolation room proportionate in these circumstances? I think it sounds pretty OTT. The medical room feels more appropriate.

That depends on the school’s set up. In many schools the medical room isn’t staffed full time so it wouldn’t be appropriate. If the SEN area is staffed perhaps that would have been the best place, but again in some schools it isn’t staffed full time or it is but they wouldn’t have to capacity to deal with extra pupils. But, yes, in many schools if a pupil had said something rude/defiant to a member of SLT it would result in isolation.

Are you a teacher out of interest thatsnotmycar?

No, I’m not.

Oh ok, just wondered how you had such an insight to how different schools operated.

Good to know though that shouting at SEN kids, making them cry and sending them to isolation is absolutely fine because it’s their fault they broke the rules 👍🏼

That’s not what I said at all! But you carry on twisting what I posted to fit your narrative.

I was trying to help you understand why the situation might have occurred as it did and how support could be put in place so there isn’t a repeat in the future.

No school can cope with children just taking themselves off to a random corner when they feel like it. And having SEN doesn't exempt your child from following school rules. If his SEN require a reasonable adjustment - to uniform, to having a "time out " card - then speak to the senior and arrange it. At my kids' school children w a card can go to the resource base when they need a quiet spot to escape to. They are not free to wander, even when upset.