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Advice - 3 1/2yr old with lack of eye contact, speech delay

7 replies

ciara333 · 09/11/2022 16:37

My son is 3 and half. His speech has been very delayed, although he babbled he said very few words and often stopped saying them during 1 to 2 years old. We started speech therapy at around 2 and half, shortly after starting the SALT referred for a pediatric development assessment. We always had concerns about his tongue as he was always sticking it out, his suffers regularly from croup and his nose would be very congested. We notice he particularly would stick his tongue when his nose was congested and try to touch it. Although he passed a hearing test, we decided to go private to ENT to see if there was problem with his adenoids as he was mouth breathing and snoring as well as the tongue protrusion. They discovered he had glue ear, both were graphs flat so recommended grommets. The consultant said after op his ears where jam packed full of glue which they removed. Speech increased, but his pronunciation still very poor but his vocabulary expanded and he started putting two / three words together although still not talking in sentences. We had his development assessment today. I was expecting to be told he had a developmental delay, perhaps even speech disorder the consultant was pretty sure he also is autistic. He had no eye contact with her. She believes his tongue is a form of stimming and she noticed other facial expressions. His development is around 2 and half. so a year behind and she would say moderate learning difficulty. Health visitor and nursery have also previously noted lack of eye contact. On the upside he is such a good wee child, sleeps well, eats well, no tantrums, potty trained. So sociable with his family including his cousins. But with people he doesn't know as well, he definitely seems to lack eye contact and his speech is so badly delayed. I'm still not sure about the tongue stimming as he had a high-temperature both yesterday and today and was really not in good form, and when she checked his tonsils they were red. So I still wonder if the tongue protrusion is coming from infection. But anyway, I suppose I just need to hear some positive stories as I've cried all afternoon. She believes with one-to-one a mainstream school will be fine. I can't even believe I'm writing this. Thanks for reading x

OP posts:
Choconut · 09/11/2022 16:44

Mine used to stick his tongue out all the time, and touch his nose with it. It helped him concentrate I think as he mainly did it then, he's a teen now and does it much less - but he's a great teen, so much easier than a lot of NT teens! No drinking/drugs/sex or out all night for him.

It's fantastic that your ds has been diagnosed so young so he can get lots of help and have lots put in place to help him. Give yourself some time to get used to the idea, but remember he's still the same adorable boy he was yesterday.

SusiePevensie · 10/11/2022 16:40

Slightly puzzled by this. Autism is usually diagnosed by a multi-disciplinary team, not one person. Plus eye contact or lack thereof isn't a diagnostic criterion for autism any more.

But. Let's suppose your kid is autistic. There are a lot of happy, funny, capable autistic people out there. Take a look at pete wharmby and purple ella and damian milton for - not positive views necessarily, they're not going to say it is all sunshine and roses - but realistic hopeful views.

ciara333 · 11/11/2022 11:11

Thank you both for your kind replies. I genuinely;y appreciate you taking the time to come back to me. I'm not still convinced the tongue protrusion is stimming. His tongue has protruded since he was a very young baby and he was always congested esp his nose. Even yet he mouth breaths and snores at night. Plus he has sore throat and temperature this week which didn't help at his assessment. But maybe it is something more, I'm not sure. His lack of eye contact with people he doesn't know is a big worry but again not sure if that is coming from not hearing properly before grommets. But I am noticing more that he doesn't make eye contact with people is unfamiliar with. I didn't realise that lack of eye contact was no longer considered diagnosis criteria as that was one of the things the consultant seemed to focus on. His speech and communication skils are very poor but he understands and attempts speech even if it is hard to make out. I am better form today and as you say, he is still the same lovable child he was before the assessment and my job will be to get him whatever help he needs to support his development and make life easier for him. I had him at the dr yesterday and he sat up on the chair himself and said "ahhhhh" for the dr to look at his tonsils. Smiled and charmed his way through the appointment. I have to look at all the positives he has going for him and just hope that his speech and development will improve.

OP posts:
ciara333 · 11/11/2022 11:26

Also just wondering Choconut did you DS stick his tongue out from he was baby as well? Interesting thinking if it is autism mannerisms are present from birth rather than an acquired action later in development. It's lovely to hear your son is doing so well. At the moment it's that kind of story I need to hear. xo

OP posts:
Raheel1625 · 24/12/2022 22:14

Hello

This is my first time in any community,
Need some help or some stories that have success for children getting their speech sorted or comes to life.

My daughter was 1.6 years when she started to say single words then lockdown open and his brother start going to school and we parents start our work activities and all of a sudden our daughter got muted and stop saying even a single word. Then we went to GP and for now she is referred for ENT and other classes but no progress yet

She is 3 now and start saying only few single words and try to copy our difficult words

So want to know any success stories that occurs to anyone that their child start speaking after 3 or 4 years

Please do reply

Thanks
Rick

Raheel1625 · 24/12/2022 22:15

Hello

This is my first time in any community,
Need some help or some stories that have success for children getting their speech sorted or comes to life.

My daughter was 1.6 years when she started to say single words then lockdown open and his brother start going to school and we parents start our work activities and all of a sudden our daughter got muted and stop saying even a single word. Then we went to GP and for now she is referred for ENT and other classes but no progress yet

She is 3 now and start saying only few single words and try to copy our difficult words

So want to know any success stories that occurs to anyone that their child start speaking after 3 or 4 years

Please do reply if any success or suggesions

Thanks

Sarah111111 · 19/05/2025 20:53

hi is there any update for anyone here

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