New here want to know if there are any other parents of teenage SN boys on here

[Tess04]

Help, any body got any advice please, after a ten year struggle i have finally got a diagnosis for my son - ADHD - only problem is he is now 16, no qualifications, no job, no college, no nothing, except being difficult and i really don't know what to do now. I'm stuck and getting worried because i don't know what to do from here.... i have other children, but that causes more worry as my teenager can be unpredictable.

Hi Tess, sorry to hear this. Have you tried Connexions www.connexions.gov.uk/ (sorry, I don't know how to do a link)? They're supposed to be more than just a careers service. I have to be honest, and say that they were not the most helpful people I've dealt with (teenage son with chronic illness), but each local area differs, and you might be luckier with yours. The website might also give you links to other organisations.

tallulah has an older son with ADHD, i dont know if she can help. i think he got his diagnosis earlier though

Tess, try giving the National Autistic Society a call - I know you said he has ADHD rather than autism, but they still might know of a support group in your area, or something similar.

Sorry I can't be more help.

hi tess sorry to hear you are having a hard time my ds2 has adhd also although he is youngerthan your ds.Here are a few websites which you may find helpful
www.addis.co.uk
www.adders.org
sorry i cant do links maybe someone can come on and do this for you.They have sections that deal with adolesents/teenagers and will be able to give you details of a support group in your area.You will find lots of support and advice on hereas well xxxxxxxx

bump
ten years cant imagine how hard that must have been for you
how old are your other kids?

Hi Tess, my 15 yo is ADHD, but he was diagnosed at 7. (He's standing behind me & says he's not Special Needs, just Special )

You say you have a diagnosis- have you been offered any treatment? Our clinic is pretty good & offered a combined therapy/medication treatment. DS had counselling a few years ago & we were taught some behavioural management techniques. If they haven't offered you any treatment, that is your first step. There have been lots of threads & debates about medication- for us it was a godsend & I can always tell when they've worn off!

It isn't too late at 16 for your DS to find some direction, but he can't do that until he gets some help. If you want to know anything specific please ask (or CAT if you'd rather).

(I have 3 other children as well, so I know what you mean about more worry)

thanks to everybody for replying

ladyhawk - my other kids are 5, 6, and 10, thanks for the web addresses you gave i will look into them, 10 years was very hard and it was only when i left him at the doctors they eventually sent the diagnosis, i had junmped up and down with no result until then and had just had enough, made me laugh though because he still conned the Dr out of £3 for bus fare back home although it's walking distance and she must have forgotten that she had also signed the form for his disability bus pass (free travel).KIDS!

mfh - my son is with connexions but they haven't been too much help so far, he had one college place but lost if after only 3 weeks as they couldn't cope with him, and so far he hasn't got another, they are very good talk wise but not much practically

tallulah, my son won't admit he has a problem at all, ADHD isn't his only one, i haven't been offered anything, the Dr did do a referral to social services on the account of disability but they just wrote back and said they didn't have a role. i also contacted the housing dept about him but they say they can't accomodate him without a social services support package in place. I feel like i keep hitting a brick wall.

To be honest i don't see an end in sight, and just feel really c* at the moment, he refuses to do anything i ask, complains about anything i ask that he does want to do just because it's me that has asked him and can't see any problem at all with the way he behaves. I personally think it may be more an ASD than ADHD but the Dr refused to acknowledge this.

hi tess sorry you feel so low at the moment,though itd hardly surprising you seem to be getting no support at all.Could your gp not refer him to psychologist???thats where we got our dx also helped us with behavioural issues.
They just started a adhd support group in my area when i went along the discussed asd as well ther were a lot of doctors and psychologists there also soclal workers so it was agood place to get advice .Im sure someone wiil be able to give you better advice about the help that is out there .You shouldnt be copingt alone

he has been referred to a psychologist before the first couple of times when he was still quite young, they blamed single parent hood! so i didn't go back for a while, after that the for another referral i just couldn't manage to get him there, i was pregnant at the time and he kicked up such a physical fuss, on one occasions i got him there by not telling him where he was going, but he refused to get out of the car, so i went in and told them but they refused to come and get him , again no luck. Now as he says there is nothing wrong with him and truely seems to believe this he is still refusing to go anywhere.

Oh dear, you have been through the mill. The first clinic we went to told us our DSs problems were due to bad parenting & a father who worked nights ("if you could find a proper job dear" ).

All I can suggest is you keep trying. Sorry, not much help.

thanks, you have been of great help, especially of the supportive kind, it's certainly nice to know i'm not on my own