Anticipating asd diagnosis for 4 year old, advice?

[Crumbsinthecarpet]

Hi Mumsnet, wanting advice really, or book recommendations etc on this subject

My son started reception in September and loves it, settled in really well and loves his teacher but she has pointed some things out that I was already keeping an eye on (I've had suspicions about neuro-divergence since he was about 6 months old) and have decided to contact the school nurse or gp about his needs

The main reasons for referral:

• His friends was trying to get his attention but he completely ignored him, unless I pointed out he was talking to him, and sometimes even when I did he wouldn't look at him, this happens fairly regularly

• his teacher said he isnt making many friends, pretty obsessed with numbers and letters and always has been, referring to himself in the third, and prefers playing alone person in school

• speech issues

• Frequently ignores you when you shout his name, or when people ask him questions or try to talk to him

• not taking a joke, you can't call him a silly name otherwise he says "no, I'm "

• often talks with odd intonation, sing song/flat voice

• plays with toys the same way every time as demonstrated usually by me, I showed him dinosaur soup in the bath with an earthquake once, every time he gets the bowl in the bath he does the same thing and doesn't expand the game

• self injury, he scratches his leg if scared or nervous, enough that he draws blood

• clumsy

• does not have a normal amount of fear/care in dangerous situations, IE trying to cycle down the stairs

• finds it hard to follow 2 part instructions (school mentioned this)

• sharing issues

• no sensory issues though

My questions are as follows:

1. Who should I speak to, gp, school nurse or someone else?

1. Has anyone got any recommendations for books/podcasts/websites etc for good information about the best way to help him thrive?

1. Has anyone got any first hand advice about the best ways to help him thrive?

All I want is the best for him, and for him to be happy! Thanks x

Who it is best to do the referral depends on your local authority.
Where I live / work, the school can make the referral for assessment but I have read on MN that that isn't universal across the country.
The 2nd best route here would be the Health Visitor.
However, GPs can also refer.

I would ask for an appointment with the SENCo and see what they say.