Im not sure whether to bother or not so just asking what others think our chances will be.
We have 4 children. 3 with autism and learning difficulties and 2 of them also have adhd.
The 2 older children are at a Sen school, my eldest has challenging behaviour (at school too), both have moderate ld. They can talk and communicate although needs are often shouted or screamed for by them.
Third child has a ehcp but at mainstream, her behaviour at school is amazing at home it is however she does have meltdowns.
Husband works but we have no family, in 12 years we have had no break at all, I’m burnt out. The eldest constantly argues and will scream and scream at her younger sibling (who is half her age and struggles to talk), she needs 1-1 to calm down every time. I can’t leave her as she will scream over and over again how she hates her. It’s full on. I know other children have bigger disabilities, it’s normal life for me so tbh I see them as “normal”. However I’m just so tired, I don’t feel like a person any more actually I now have zero personality. I spend the school day doing house work, preparing dinner, preparing lunches for the next day, hospital apts, washing, making sure everything is organised for the next day really, because if one small thing goes wrong in the morning or out of routine that’s it, if my eldest can’t find something that’s her not going to school. I have no time to see anyone. Husband never goes out, he finished work then helps as but 6pm I’m flagging 🤦🏼♀️. Is there help for families that have numerous Sen children but non severe? I don’t really want social services involved, however I feel we need something. Husband and me barely know each other it’s just job after job until we sleep (which is broken because of the kids). I feel like I’m wasting my time, and tbh betraying the kids ad they are great kids. I think what the struggle is is the lack of support, no family to take one of the kids out for a few hours etc. none seem to get any 1-1 either. Just feel like I’m failing them. We don’t have the money to pay for restbite. Their Dla all goes on them, however esp the eldest sen school is expensive 😂. Some of the things I use Dla on -car finance (as can’t go out without one and needed a reliable one and big enough for a pram and Sen buggy), school residential for 2 older one £600, Amazon, swimming lessons 1-1, food as all eat different, at the minute doing their rooms us and dividing bedrooms so they have one each, school dinners, etc. younger child not applied for as she didn’t seem as bad, although had a ehcp. I’m wondering if I’m just moaning about normal life 🤦🏼♀️.