Teacher told my daughter she has autism

[dddxxx]

Last night as I was getting DD (6) ready for bed, she said ‘it’s because I have autism mummy’ I’m not sure what we were talking about before hand but she said her teacher told her she has autism and it’s because finds it difficult to do her work. (Her words).

DD was diagnosed with ASD a couple of years ago now but myself and my partner decided not to tell her yet as she was really young at the time of diagnosis and has since settled into school fine and thriving so it’s something we thought would be best to tell her at a later stage in her life. The school is well aware of everything and she has additional support for learning in place as well as other things but I just can’t help but think her teacher is so wrong for telling her without discussing it with me or her dad! She’s only just turned 6 and I don’t want her to think she’s any different to her friends, and to continue doing the fantastic job that she’s doing in school. She does struggle socially and I don’t know if this is going to affect her confidence. Unsure what to make of this really, but I am upset that this has been disclosed to her randomly by a teacher 🙁

@CharlieG31 i can see where you’re coming from. It’s a hard one isn’t it, I just want to right by her. It’s definitely a conversation to be had fairly soon. She’s only just started primary 2 so had a year in school already and we’ve been able to assess how she’s progressing and how much she’s came on. I appreciate your point of view x

Thank you, I know you are only doing what you think is right and I can totally understand why you made your decision and I think the best way we all learn in this world is speaking to people who have been there.
I kept it really light when I told my son, he already attended an Sen school but I just said his autism makes him think and feel a bit different sometimes but he is still the same boy and he is loved and celebrated for who he is. He doesn’t really ask or talk too much about it but I definitely think it helped x

presumably if you work in a school you under confidentiality and if you have a diagnosis you understand what implications that may have. If not skim this and have a word with your school about training

cpdonline.co.uk/knowledge-base/safeguarding/what-is-confidentiality/

I was a bit older but never quiet forgave my parents for not telling me, not least because when I started a new school age 10 the teacher told the rest of the class before I started (it came from a good place but wasn't really thought through) and I found out when I was teased about it and went home crying to my mum "why did x say I have this thing I've never heard of?". By that point I had already realised I was different but couldn't work out why.

@Jules912 thats awful! Both the teacher being so indiscreet and the response of the children given the ammunition to bully. What a horrible way to find out presumably your parents assumed staff would respect confidentiality.

Being autistic is not something to be ashamed of. Reading between the lines, you didn't tell the school to keep this a secret.

You don’t need to tell a healthcare professional or a school medical diagnosis is confidential and shame has nothing to do with it.

@cansu jesus Christ who said being autistic is something to be ashamed of?! You’re missing the point entirely. I absolutely adore my daughter and all of her weird and wonderful quirks. Wouldn’t change them, she is who she is and being autistic is a part of her. It makes her unique! A teacher should not discuss medical diagnosis regardless if she knows or doesn’t know? It’s not her place! My partner and I haven’t spoke to DD about her having autism yet. It’s not a bridge we’ve crossed yet and I can tell you now it’s not because it’s ANYTHING to be ashamed of! Can you please tell me when is the right time? When she was 3? The day we found out? There is no right time. And yes the school did know. Bloody hell shes just turned 6

You sound very angry. I think a child should know in an age appropriate way from the start. So fir example. Mrs X is going to be helping you in the classroom because you need help with your learning. This is because of something called autism which means your brain works a bit differently. It doesn't have to be a heavy conversation. You could read age appropriate books about it. There are lots. I think you essentially are cross with the wrong person. The teacher will not have in any way set out to surprise your child or you. They are probably seeking to help your child. I think to keep going on about private medical information is to miss the point. Maybe you should have started to talk about this a little over time. I think it is a bit like children who have always known they are adopted. It may not be a physical disability but it is a disability that is part of who your child is. I have two with asd. It is spoken about as a regular everyday thing. Why should my dds peers and teachers not know this about her. I also think you were wrong not to tell the teacher that you have kept this quiet. She or he can't read your mind.

@cansu perhaps insinuating I’m ashamed of my child’s disability might cause one to feel anger because that’s never been the case. That was your choice to tell your children. The subject has never came up until now when my daughter came home and said I’m autistic my teacher told me. As said in previous comments it’s been a human error but don’t think she should be talking about her having autism in the first place. Please read the post above where someone has attached a thread about confidentiality :)

I think you should go in by asking the teacher how the conversation went. See what she says about it first. If she starts by apologising then lesson learned, move on, you don't need to read her the riot act.

Absolutely it shouldn't have happened, but if you hadn't made it explicitly clear she's not to know, I think it's a very normal and human mistake to make. She's had 30 new children to get to know this month, and quite a lot of them these days come with some sort of SEN, healthcare needs, allergies, access arrangement issues, etc etc.

I'm pretty sure that confidentiality doesn't cover telling someone about themselves.

Was your daughter upset to learn the truth OP? Sounds like she was fine with it, even if she doesn't fully understand it (which is fine, understanding grows over time).