Dinner time upset

[Ted0301]

Hi all, my 4.5 year old daughter has just started reception (mainstream) she is struggling with going into the main playground on a lunch time, does anyone have any suggestions what we could try? School are amazing with her and have tried different things but she has started getting teary when lunch time approaches. She went to the school nursery but they had their own small separate playground. I have taken her ear defenders in today but she never usually uses them as she copes well with noise usually.

Can DD communicate what it is about the playground she is struggling with? Is it the busyness, the social interaction, not knowing who to play with, not knowing what to play/the unstructured nature of lunchtime, the size of the older pupils, not knowing the staff…? Or is it actually the dining hall that is the difficult part with the playground being a red herring once DD is already overwhelmed?

If you can understand what it is DD struggles with you/school will be able to target support better.

Does DD cope with break time?

@Thatsnotmycar hi sorry I didn’t explain on my original post. She is autistic and non/pre verbal.
she copes well with the rest of school and they have a small outdoor area just for there class too which I believe she is ok with. I think it maybe that there are a lot of children and noisy, which is why I’ve sent her ear defenders in today with her to try, but she is not keen on wearing them usually.

Assuming reception go in to the playground at break time if she copes OK then I would be questioning school about what is different between break and lunchtime.

Does DD have TA support at lunchtime? Could the school organise a buddy or an activity?

If DD can’t manage the playground full time they could do something inside with her and perhaps 1 or 2 other pupils and build up the time spent outside.

Does DD have an EHCP and does it include sensory OT support?

@Thatsnotmycar I think they only go in the main playground at lunch time they spend other times in their small play area.

She doesn’t have an EHCP or anything (yet) school are in the process of gathering all they need to submit it, as it got rejected at the assessment stage in nursery.

i spoke to her teacher and we think it maybe because she’s taking a while to eat her lunch and then when the other children are done she’s getting upset if she’s not finished. But today they gave her longer to finish and someone kept an eye on her and she was a little better. She refused to wear her ear defenders. They tried bringing toys out and another little girl played along side her the other day too which she seemed happy about so I may suggest this is what they do going forward until she’s more comfortable.

You can reapply for an EHCNA yourself, you don’t need school to gather evidence first. The only legal test for the initial stage is a) has or may have SEN, and b) may need SEN provision to be made via an EHCP. If DD is nonverbal you meet that threshold. If you are rejected again appeal, the vast majority of appeals are upheld.

Would DD wear noise cancelling headphones instead of the ear defenders, some DC find them easier to cope with?

Taking toys out to engineer interaction, even if it is ‘only’ playing alongside others initially, is a good route in the ease DD into the playground.

Sending hugs. My son is now 8 and the dinner hall is a huge problem for him. Has been for years. He tells me he has to deal with it (the response of his old school) but his new school have been amazing. For my son it's a mix of the noise, busyness and he can't cope with being given a time limit or feeling rushed. I wish I could offer advice on what works as we haven't found anything yet. He can't wear any sort of ear defenders/headphones because he says they 'squeeze his brain'.
The dinner hall is a huge sensory overload for him. He manages in the playground as he role plays his way through playtime and is often louder than everyone else and plays a 'lead (in control) character.

I'll be watching for any advice because it's a big problem for us too

Needanewadventure2021, if DS can’t cope eating in the hall can the school arrange for him to eat elsewhere, with a friend or 2 if that’s what he would prefer?

Thanks everyone, they have been letting her have longer to eat her dinner as she is a slow eater anyway, and her teacher did say she is looking around a lot, probably because of all the noise going on. But she has been better since they have let her have longer and have been taking toys outside for her to play with 🙌🏻