DS lost his full time school palce today- what do I do?

[Peachy]

basically, statement review school is calling can't be held until Amrch and as DS3 is due to go full time after March, the school is saying that he can't attend full time. He will either need full time 1-1 or a place at teh SN unit (they want SN unit, I want SN unit, LEA will not want SN unit).

trouble is, baby is due over Easter, which will make life really hard (ds3 has no malice but has no idea of safety either so I won't be able to nap, or leave them alone- had abnked on school time for this). Also, our CM finishes with us at Easter so the two mornings I am at Uni / finshing dissertation / doing exams will be a no-no- looks as if I will have to drop put of Uni based on this scenario, a shame as I graduate 3 months later. Have care for baby, but can't send a rising-5.

What do I do now? Don't want to be in limbo at this atge of pregnancy / life etc, but no idea where to go next

God, what a pain Peachy, and all because they can't do the meeting till March! Is there anyone at all sympathetic in LEA you can talk to to see if they can pull it forward. A pal of mine with an ASD kid recently rang Social Services to say she's on the edge, can't work due to autistic child, can't earn money etc and if they don't do something she'll have a breakdown. They quickly reinstated her meeting, could you do something similar - after all, it should be in their interests too that you finish degree, making you more qualified for employment. Crying rather than shouting might help here? Or would the school help by providing 1-to-1 on short term basis?? Really sorry you are going through this! The other thing is that there is a website for nannies and CMs which I used, could you find someone that way?

Didnt want to ignore your post but am not very good at problem solving! You have a lot to juggle!
It seems to me you have several interdependent dilemas. The best solution would be to get Ds3 into the SN unit both school and you want for after easter. Have they room? If they have, and could take ds3, then perhaps a campain to persuade LEA it is the cheapest option (well thats what matters to lea most!)is required! The trouble might be I dont think the LEA have to provide ft ed until after the 5th bithday.
If that is not a possibility, then the question is childcare/nursery/preschool for ds3 to bridge the gap until he does start school. (Does uni have an inclusive nursery by the way or other suggestions )
Thirdly the uni dessertation - if all else fails can you defer and get extra time to complete your desertation/course, without giving up all together ((dont do that!! - I know we all put our kids first!!)). I went back to my Phd but the extra 'gap' time had to be approoved by the academic commitee - so it might be possible. When considering deferment time remember it will take time to get back into it! HTH

I think the problem with the review is that SALT / OT / SENCO / Dha nd I all have to be present (they specifically requested DH- I get the impression they want his bolshy attitude! )

i think I am going to hve to call the LEA though, I am trying to get a tour of the local ASD unit so I can know what i think before the review, but you have to get permission from the LEA, if SENCO ahsn't called by 3pm today i will call

Crying is not optional sadly ATM, hormones / stress. Very embarassing!.

Thanks magso as well- I was wondering about a deferment. Can't be mroe than a year as DH wants to go to Uni after that (looks like his company being assest stripped but we don't know that OK ). I might e-mail student services.

I think the SN unit is a definite way to go, I need to call the Paed thougha s her final DX will be issued by thee nd of MArch but wiothout that he is not 'qualified' for the unit, iyswim?

Apaprently all the local SN units are undersubscribed and have places! - which says a lot really.

Crying is good, means people have to feel sympathy (or at least pretend to!). I hope you get some help - could you not set DH on them, he sounds good!

Dh will be out of bed in half an hour, he doesn't want me to defer (because I haev been offered a part time MA place for next year), so I suspect he will be in action soon (his job is managing lorry drivers- good training for the LEA in my experience!).

I have a BIBIC report that turned up today that places ds3 as functioning as: emerging skills at 2-3 langguage comprehension; 3 years emerging gross motor; 18 months - years fine motor; 18 month - 3 yeras emerging expressive; 15 - 18 month absent skills at social development and play- theyc an't argue that a child at that level is OK on his own without 1-1 can they? realistically?

I think thats why I have been knocked so flat actually- Monday was the agreement from paed that DS3 will get a dx of asd; wednesday DS2 (the NT one) got a dx of hearing loss; and then today. And OT home visit tomorrow. It's all a bit quick-fire at the oment, really.

It takes time to kake in all these things you sound much more clear headed than I would be with just one of those! Take care.

I feel for you Peachy, it seems like it is all happening this week for you!, No, they certainly can't argue that he doesn't need a 1-to-1, he sounds quite similar to my DS (who has full time 1-to-1, but then I have a different problem as the school are xxxxxxxxxxs, and are basically warning me they might not keep him as "he might perhaps need a different setting, something which will help him with life skills" aka, they think he's too severe to be in mainstream and can't be arsed to help him, even though I have told them how well he is adjusting for an autistic child. Maybe there is something in the stars this week, I am feeling very emotional too. Get your DH to go into the fight!

Peachy, so sorry you are having to deal with all this Sh*t.
have you spoken to the head at the sn unit, can they offer your ds a conditional place or do they have any outreach support they can offer his current school to enable your ds to attend.
A headteacher who knows the system & how to juggle budgets & grants may be able to help!
DS2 would not be at school if it had not been for his ht pulling a few strings to get funding for his 1 to 1 without a statement in place.

We're not allowed co0ntact with SN unit until he has a place unless LEA permit it - weird that!

The Head isn't a 'Head' only an acting head so she ahs no clue as to what she's doing (nobody wants the permanent job apparently).

i've spent the last year saying 'Whichever school he goes to, the last thing he needs is to go to one and then be moved after a few eeeks as the pacement is worng'- I must be psychic eh?

(I did get in a brief snide comment of which I now feel quite proud LOL- she said that 'the problem with changing ds3's nappies is that it takes 2 adults in case he comes home and sayss we abused him' to which my inappropriate reply was 'although as you may have noticed, he cannot talk'. Am SO proud of that now! - how petty am I?)

And now they're bickeringa bout nappies again, am SO tempted to give him a yoghuret (gives him the runs), and then whip him over quickfire

although ultimately would be crud for him so won't

tempting though

that is funny Peachy, you have to get a good one in like this sometimes!

Why are all LEA's the same - USELESS.
They refused to assess ds2 when he was at preschool as he did not disrupt the setting.
She had never met him or me
So the fact that he could not learn or function, or think for himself didn't matter as long as he sat there nice & didn't disturb all the others. WTF.

What a crock of runny stuff. Same happenend with dd. Her school start was delayed 5 farking months cos they are all tits. As it is, she started this week and the equipment isn't there.

How's she getting on NMC? Any ide how ong the equipment will take to arrive?

LEA have said I can visit the unit, and school have definitely confirmed theyc an do nothing with ds3 above 'babysitting'- they ahd him for a whole year of Nursery, why oh why...... sigh.

Ah well

yes I was just wondering today how your DD is getting on at school NMC.

inclusion = farce and lipservice at times. I do hope you can sort something out and not jeapordise your degree Peachy.

Gonna e-mail students ervices and ask about deferment (dont want to talk to my tutor yet- neighbour so too close atm), but at least if I defer I'm still in there, iyswim.

I feel for you as my boy only attends 20 hours a week with 1-1 all that, at IEP last week i asked if he coud go fulltime after easter ready for the transation to yr 1 in sept. Got turned down flat as no legal requirment till the term after their 5th birthday.
School have comprised and said he can full time Mon, Tues, then to lunch time rest of week.
Its better than nothing but was really banking on him attending full time as i need a break sometimes.
I hope you get the decision you need and best of luck with your course.

Spoke to LEA today and they ahd no idea of school not having him - school had told me they ahd discussed with them! School planning to drop it in at review meeting which would have given me less than 2 weeks before Easter to sort.

So- have discussed with LEA, and they are going to get abck to me with details of anywhere he might be placed should ASD Unit not have a place then; they did say the unit we want would be most appropriate onvce dx had been received.

School are well aware there are reasns for me wanting it sorted by April- sucha s the new baby- yet are still playing silly buggers!

Should anyone come up with any smart arse ideas such as extra 1-1 in existings chool I am going to claim irretrievable breakdown of relationship with school and refuse: there's no way I am living like this for next 3 years! We've already decided baby going elsewhere, and ds2 goes to juniors in September so will cut our ties ASAP whatever happens.

wow, Peachy, you are on fire! Go girl! Well done on getting them all to sort them themselves out!

AND the school said it was the OT who said it took 2 adults to change a nappy- OT has no awareness of this at all (has just visited!), all she said was 'have you thought about pull ups?' to them. In fact- she didn't even MEET Senco! Lying little cow that SENCO is!

Yes, my SENCO lies too! My DS's class teacher said in a meeting of all of us that she is "scared" of my son, yet the SENCO amazingly seems not to remember hearing that. Good job my ABA home tutor is also his LSA in class and her memory was a little clearer. Isn't it horrible that it is all such a battle though - I look at my lovely little golden haired,smiling 4 year old and think "why don't they all just want him to do well, rather than trying to trip him up so they can get rid!". He even tried to kiss this old bag, his teacher, and she just ignored him - I know of course they're not allowed to kiss kids, school policy blah blah, but I would have thought that on a human level she would want to respond to him a little at least! Breaks my heart that my little boy thinks everyone in the world means him well and is lovable, and he's going to have to learn different! I'm pleased for you though Peachy!

Just been told (at ds1's Sn rugby group) that ds2's friend who has CP at a pretty mild level (walking talking, lovely kid- has hearing aids) is experiencing exactly the same thing, and that a child with AS was kicked out of the junior section last week in the same way.

What is this, mass eviction? Is ds1 next?
what happens if ds2's hearing problems turn out to be something toehr than glue ear- him too?