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SN children

My son needs help

3 replies

AllBlocChain · 13/09/2022 14:35

DS8 is different, I struggle to find another way to describe him. It's hard to be his parent, he is not particularly affectionate but when he comes for physical reissuance he's too much, he swamps you. He is chatty but his conversation is always factual, he will tell me facts about his hobbies or that he's memorised, he is quite fixated on collections of things, he's a very bright lad and found learning to read very easy, despite the disruption of C19. He is sensitive but also totally oblivious. He struggles to make friends but when someone does want to be a friend he can find it a sensory overload and he needs space. He has some gross motor skill problems so writing is a struggle. He will freak out if he feels to hot or too cold. He spends ages playing by himself but to me the scenarios always seem to be something he had read or watched. In the past 9 months his use of eye contact has improved. I don't think he can read other people very well at all.

I have long suspected he is on the autistic spectrum. DH agrees. His teacher last year found him odd but lovely, she said he could go either way, I took concerns to our GP who dismissed them.

He has now moved into a new class, with a new teacher and harder work. He was crying this morning on the way to school. Because he is so bright I worry that he won't get the help because he isn't failing, yet.

I want to help him, to help us, I feel like we are in limbo with no help from the GP, I'm not sure if a private diagnosis is the way forward, would a child psychologist help? Could they look at the whole picture and tell us if its nature vs nurture? Is he ND or is there something about our parenting that we need to change?

When he isn't whinging, complaining or arguing he is a lovely polite well mannered little boy who thrives in a 1-2-1 setting.

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Thatsnotmycar · 13/09/2022 17:30

In some areas you can self refer. If you can’t locally ask if you can be referred via school, again in some areas this is possible, if not, revisit the GP and be insistent.

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HotPenguin · 13/09/2022 19:23

I would ask for a second opinion, your GP does not have the training to say your DS does not have autism.

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PinktoothbrushBluetoothbrush · 14/09/2022 21:37

Sounds a lot like our DD age 8. A referral letter from school can help if they are willing. Is there a SENCO at school who you can approach? Would his new teacher be more supportive?

We’d had a 6 month “watch and wait” with school, co-ordinated by the SENCO, before seeing our GP who then took us seriously and referred us for investigation for ADHD and ASD.

This took another 9 months in total. We had a private diagnosis purely to skip the 3-year+ waiting lists in our area. We are now exploring treatment. The biggest difference post diagnosis is understanding, and relief all round including our DD who says she is happy that we “get her”. Good luck.

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