Hi, I'm unsure if anyone can give me any advice or whether I've even posted in the correct place. I'm a mother to a wonderful 10 month old girl, she's our first after 8 years of infertility. My pregnancy was a massive surprise and because if this I was on medication up until the second trimester and had to be weaned off.
I first noticed there was something up with my daughters eye contact after she had an MRI and they had to put her under general anesthetic at 3 months old (we had a real scare with her health but it turns out she has a neurological condition that if congenital is totally benign but it can be caused by some very serious illnesses). The next day her eye contact was 'off'. She suddenly wouldn't look at me.
She did a lot early, rolled at 3 months and would cough if you asked 'have you got a bad cough?' She would sing along with me at 3 months when I was singing which she only did for around a week or two, and she only rolled a couple of ways each time then didn't roll again.
Her eye contact is a strange one, where she'll make eye contact but can't maintain it and sometimes she's smiling and making eye contact and suddenly she'll looked panicked and she'll quickly look away. Other times she'll just fully avoid it, she hasn't made eye contact during feeding since 3 months old and she'll turn her head if you try to look at her face on.
She's always been a very placid smiley baby, smiled at 4 weeks and laughed early too. She gives me huge smiles every time I smile at her. She has been responding to her name since 5 months but will turn maybe 75% of the time. She's been waving since 9 months but she still hasn't quite grasped it and will randomly wave and the odd time she'll do it properly even when she's not prompted. She'll sometimes cough to get our attention if we aren't giving her enough bit other times I'm not sure whether she'd care if there was anyone else in the house.
She was late to babble, not much before 9 months but now she babbles often. She doesn't play typically with toys, she just touches and rubs them and puts them in her mouth, like, if I show her the ball drop toy she won't try to copy me. She has never mimicked any facial expressions or noises, she doesn't wave, point or gesture to be picked up but she will sometimes hold out her arms for me if someone else is holding her. She feeds well but her sleep has always been awful and she likes to cuddle at night.
She has no separation anxiety but does prefer me to other people. If I leave her in her playpen she won't seek me even after half an hour, today I felt like she couldn't have cared whether I was there or not.
She doesn't crawl, or pull up to stand but she sits well. This week I've noticed she's started to smell her books and certain other toys she likes, she also has started wriggling her fingers in front of her eyes. She's always scratching surfaces or touching something, I know babies do this but she is next level, it's really excessive. She twirls her wrists, ankles and wriggles her toes all the time. She doesn't attempt to jump in the jumparoo or won't bounce if you hold her to stand though her legs are strong.
I'm a worrier by nature and my heart feels sore right now. My nephew (sil step son so not a blood relative) has high functioning autism so I'm aware it's not the end of the world. But, my fears are if she's showing many signs before she hits 10 months will she be severely affected? No-one else has really noticed anything but DH and I.
I'm finding it even more difficult because I'm pretty sure it was the medication that caused this and her other neurological condition. I love her so much and to think that my selfishness has caused her harm is so painful, I don't even know how I'm holding it together.
She's been seen by opthalmology so there's nothing wrong with her eyesight. I'm sorry my post is so long, if anyone has managed to read it til the end could you offer some advice or just a hand hold, I really need it right now.