Prior to diagnosis, how did you know your 2 year old was autistic?

[LoveReallyHurtsWithoutLube]

Just that really. I suspect DC, who has just turned 2, has autism. I’m wondering, if your child is autistic and was showing symptoms at the age of 2, what made you seek a diagnosis?

We didn't seek any diagnosis until ds was about 3.5 and I initially took him to a speech and language drop in clinic. He was verbal but his social communication was not as developed as his peers.

I started to think ds was autistic from around two because of the following:

• he learned to wave around 8 months, did it for a weekend and then not until he was two.
• He never liked the same sort of activities that other children did - library story and rhyme time, toddler groups etc. As soon as he was mobile he was trying to get away. He always just wanted to do his own thing.
• exactly when he turned one he stopped looking at the camera for photos where he had been fine the week before. We have no photos of him looking at the camera on his first birthday. This lasted a good while.
• a few weeks before he turned two he had tonsillitis and he dropped almost every food he ate. At age 8 he still eats the same handful of foods, fewer in fact than then.

There's probably lots more I can't remember off hand. He was verbal and he made progress, but he was definitely behind his typically developing peers and I could just tell there was something going on. It became more obvious as he got older.

@openupmyeagereyes Thank you so much for replying and sharing your experience.

My DS is verbal in the sense that he babbles loads and can copy (to an extent) but has no words in context and doesn’t understand what I’m saying to him. He doesn’t wave really. Maybe occasionally. He is extremely affectionate, but only with me. His separation anxiety is through the roof. I believe in trusting your gut as a parent and I know something’s not as it should be.

Can I ask how your DS is getting on now?

Oh, my DS also only eats a handful of foods. I could count on one hand what he’ll eat. Anything else he point blank refuses to try

I think the fact that he can copy is a good sign. His receptive language will most likely continue to develop. I’m sure you’ve already seen, but the Hanen More Than Words book is often recommended on these boards to support communication. It’s pricey these days but cheap in comparison to speech therapy and it’s a big book. The Intensive Interaction play model will help too. Have you flagged your concerns to the HV?

I think, for us, most of the more obvious signs came after 2, but another that was there earlier was a lack of joint attention. For instance, we took him to the zoo when he was about 18 mo and he looked everywhere except where we pointed. It was frustrating but because he otherwise engaged, pointed to things, requested etc. many of these things only added up in hindsight.

As for now, honestly, it’s a mixed bag. He’s lovely, sweet, funny - a wonderful little boy who we adore. However, covid has taken its toll and we’ve had school refusal which has continued even after moving him to a specialist autism school in January. He has violent tantrums from time to time (almost always about screen time), poor sleep and lots of other more minor day-to-day quirks of parenting an autistic child.

My DD had a regression around 22months where she lost the few words she had and generally stopped trying to engage us with shared attention.

also, pre 22months, very limited pointing, spinning in circles, tip toe walking. Not responding to name (also flagged at nursery). In her own bubble and mostly ignores other children. Initially showed interest in baby DD2 but this also changed during / after regression. there are more now, but think these were the main early ones. When I did the MChat around her 2nd birthday, it came out as high risk. To be honest when I started Googling around 22months having previously never thought of anything, almost everything I read seemed to sound like DD.

what have you noticed OP? Hope you’re ok, for me personally the early stages of wondering were a difficult time.

@openupmyeagereyes thank you again for sharing your experience with me. I can definitely relate to some of what you are saying. No doubt covid must have had a massive impact on your DS. I hope the school situation is sorted soon.

@ahna68 thank you also for sharing your experience. Again, a fair bit of what you have said is relatable. As for me? I have actually found some peace in a degree of acceptance. When I first suspected something wasn’t quite as it should be, I really struggled. Since I have, sort of, accepted that is the case, I have been more settled. I just want to make sure he gets the right support if he needs it.

He lost skills, lost his voice (he babbled also) arm flapped, followed straight lines with his eyes, tip toes, regressed on food, stimmed with his hands, didn't pick up on social ques, didn't point, spun in circles, no understanding.

This was when he was 2.

Now at 3, he's talking, waving, pointing, the stimming has calmed down, he eats everything, he can follow instructions.
You would think he was a typical 3 year old but he does still have little things he does.

We are still getting assessed for autism.
This was raised and picked up on his 2 year review.
Have you had yours yet?

Is he in a nursery setting?
My HV advised us to put him in and honestly it's been the best thing we have ever done for him, I wish we done it sooner.

@SunshineClouds1 That’s a really interesting perspective. Thanks for replying to my thread.

Yes, HV is already aware of DS speech and language delays. She said they would look at next steps at his review as we’ve not had that yet.

He has been going to nursery since just before his first birthday. I definitely think it helps. They have also flagged concerns and are keeping record so that we can use it as evidence for referral if necessary

Hello hun. My son is 4 and has autism. I'm not going to go into red flags as others have as I am typing this one handed whilst my 6 month old contact naps!

I want to chime in and say, whether he has autism or not, the good news is there is so much you as his parent can be doing to help him develop his skills. We started with my son just before his third birthday, and he has made amazing progress. We're talking a kid with only 10 words at 3, now with 500+ and 4 word sentences just a year later. He has learned to point, instruction following, joint attention, amongst other skills.

All of this was done just by my husband and I; he had no face-to-face with a therapist although we received fortnightly parent coaching.

This is the book that I would recommend: www.wob.com/en-gb/books/sally-j-rogers-university-of-c/early-start-for-your-child-with-autism/9781609184704?gclid=EAIaIQobChMI7PGM15WA-gIVQ7DtCh3XbwTNEAQYAiABEgIxx_D_BwE#GOR005081237

So many useful strategies in this book for how to play and interact with your child in a way which helps support their development :)

Thank you so much for your positive story @tasteslikeburning and for the recommendation. I’m so glad I started this thread. It’s been so informative - thank you all.

Hi how’s your DS now ? ☺️

He’s doing well thank you. He was diagnosed with ASD at the start of the year and has just started school. We take one day at a time, but he amazes me all the time with his progress. It’s tough, don’t get me wrong, but he’s a superstar.

That's a lovely update @LoveReallyHurtsWithoutLube. How's he doing at school?

It’s early days but he’s doing well. He has an EHCP in place already so he’s getting some good support. I’m looking forward to looking back in 6 months time and seeing how far he has come since starting school. 😊

Thank you so much for the update ☺️ it is lovely to hear that he is doing well . Do you mind me asking ( if they did it ) what sort of level is your ds? X

You're doing so much better than me. I couldn't get a referral for DD for love nor money. Didn't realise I could get an ECHP without a diagnosis.

The first year in Reception is usually lovely. I can remember ours having Harvest Festival and the Nativity Play

@Vittoria123 we weren’t given a level, just a diagnosis.

@PolaroidPrincess i know how difficult it can be to get the journey started! I think, because I was able to flag concerns so early, we were able to get things sorted (for the most part) before he started school. Now it’s just a case of taking one day at a time and seeing how it goes.

I could have written this exact post about my 2 and half year old

OhMaria2 have you spoken to your health visitor or GP?

You can look at the ages and stages social and emotional questionnaire for their age group.

Eldest:

• wouldn't play in the bath, would just sit and watch
• extreme meltdowns if we went the wrong way, went into the wrong room, etc
• wouldn't give eye contact
• only responds to their name occasionally
• speech and understanding was limited
• didn't play much with toys, just lined them up
• didnt take interest in anything around
• lost interest in family; daddy, grandparents
• obsessions with certain things
• no interest in other children
• no interest in activities
• no fear of strangers

Youngest:

• no interest in other children
• limited eye contact
• responds to their name occasionally
• obsessions with certain things
• very limited speech and understanding
• inconsolable when something upsets them
• weaning was difficult, refused to touch food

Probably missing a few things!

I had suspected ASD since DS was a year. Signs were:

Light-sensitivity. Would scream street down if sun got in his eyes whilst in the buggy. And found it impossible to sleep during the day unless we made his room as black as a cave. Couldn't sleep in any other setting.

In his own world. Would do same bits of repetitive play for hours (mostly focused on opening and closing doors on cars, dolls houses etc) and arranging things by colour.

Didn't respond to his name.

Non-verbal but also very poor receptive language. Didn't seem to understand what was being said to him.

Poor fine motor skills, couldn't hold a plastic cup to drink easily. Couldn't hold a crayon.

Sensory seeking - wanting to spin, swing, walk on unusual surfaces, squeeze himself in tight spaces, lie down on hard surfaces etc.

No interest in other children at all.

I think that's most of it. But all ASD kids present differently so someone else will probably be along in a minute and give you a totally different list of symptoms....