DS 17 months referred for ASD assessment

[mrsg2019]

We are in Australia, moved here from the U.K. last year. ASD runs in DH's family and already, Ds is 'different'. He doesn't answer to his own name, shows no interest in toys unless they have wheels on, hasn't spoke a word, has sensory issues and more, initially picked up by his nursery and then again by our maternal care nurse.

I just wanted to provide a bit of background to avoid drip feeding. I know more experienced SN parents are here and because we are immigrants, we have no family to really go through things with. I just wanted to ask, should I continue his activities as normal, even though there's almost a 100% chance of a meltdown each time? He can't deal with other children screaming or other loud sounds. I have anxiety and I absolutely dread taking him for swimming lessons and to babygym sessions but I keep telling myself it's for the best to keep him integrated with his peers?

Also, we struggle with food a lot. He will eat snacks by himself without prompting (fruit, biscuits, baby popcorn, yoghurt etc) but getting solid meals in causes a total meltdown. He will take mashed/puréed foods but even then, it's a struggle. It's so stressful.

Any tips for feeding? Any activities or things to play with that are ASD friendly? He loves bubbles and just rolling around in his ball pit.

Also, does the mum guilt go away? I can't explain it but I feel like I've failed him somehow.

My advice would be not to push him to do activities that he can’t cope with. At 17 months he doesn’t need to be integrated with his peers.

Lots of sensory play that supports what he likes. Look up intensive interaction and use that approach when you play with him. I don’t know anything about the therapeutic approach in Australia, but you can look at resources like Hanen’s More Than Words book to help develop communication. An occupational therapist assessment would be helpful for you I think. If that’s not affordable, the out of sync child is a good book for sensory issues.

Regarding feeding, I’d try to offer him new foods but always ensure you have safe foods for him to eat. The ‘he won’t go hungry’ approach doesn’t always work with neurodiverse children. The food chaining approach could be good to expand from his current base though these things take lots of time, don’t expect quick miracles.

You haven’t failed him so don’t feel guilty.

Have a look at ARFID.

As part of the ASD assessment will DS be assessed by a sensory OT? If not, it’s worth seeking a separate assessment.

This website has some helpful ideas, although obviously some will be too old for DS at the moment. And this booklet gives some ideas, including about different sensory experiences relating to food.

Have you tried ear defenders?