Aggressive behaviour, 13-year-old ASD and private psychiatrist

[MrsT1704]

Hi all,

As a family we are in crisis due to my 13-year-old sons aggressive behaviour. He is such a sweet boy but can get so angry over little things (to us, of course not to him). The last two years we have been asking for support and have recently had CAMHS input but found them rather useless.

We use a lot of strategies that worked really well and mostly de-escalate his behaviour but now that he is stronger it has become much more dangerous. In the last two months he has head-butted me and cracked my nose, punched me in the face, bruised me, kicked my in my pelvis which caused considerable pain, and tried to stab us. I also have long Covid which has been making my ability to manage his behaviour more difficult.

I am so fed up of being failed by all the services and I'm now looking to go private. However I feel that our only option is to look at medication. I have looked at clinical partners and another psychiatry firm but I just wanted to ask if anyone has gone private for a psychiatry appointment and if they have found that useful and if the psychiatrist has provided medication ?

I will also be following up my concerns via CAMHs but I'm just finding it so difficult to have the energy to fight for the services we should have. We haven't got time to wait for them to pull their finger out so I feel private is our only option for the immediate danger we are all in and will follow up with CAMHs alongside/when I have the energy so that they can also assess.

Any advice on experiences going private would be very useful and if you have used clinical partners it would be great to know how you found them.

Thank you

H OP, I am in a very similar position to yourself, I know how hard it is, our CAMHS is also crap, I honestly don't know how they get away with the shit they pull. I had to go private for DS ASD assessment. I am also considering the medication route via private, it's either that or Residential School, the 6 week"holiday" has been hell.

I'm so sorry you as a family are going through this. It's heartbreaking for everyone involved I think. I don't know anything about going private for psychiatry I'm afraid but you should contact social services for an assessment- both of your son's needs and of yours as a carer. You could even ask them for some emergency respite and long term they might be able to give you direct payments to get employ someone to take him out for a bit etc.Your local council website should have details of how to contact them. You might also find this NAS page about social care useful: https://www.autism.org.uk/advice-and-guidance/topics/social-care

Thank you both. I agree with you the holidays has been really difficult. It just feels that we are all walking on eggshells and waiting for the next violent episode. It's so hard to see him struggling.

@ribbonola I actually recently rang the Out Of Hours social services line when I was in crisis and they will hopefully be allocating us a social worker and they mentioned direct payments and that he will have access to a transition worker when he is 14. I actually cried on the phone as we have been asking for this for a while. I'm not going to hold my breath about having it though. would be amazing if we did.

@Overdon I also can't believe that they get away with it.

Some of the advice I have had has been absolutely shocking. I work in children services as an OT so I have a lot of inside knowledge and it's absolutely appalling that this is happening. I will be putting in a written request for them to assess further and to highlighty concerns but it takes so much time and energy that we still need to go private as I can't risk my families wellbeing.

I just want to find the right private psychiatrist.

I see here an old post about finding a private psychiatrist for a special needs person. I’m wondering if anyone ever found one to be recommended?Im still looking !

I can’t advise on private psychiatrists, but be aware if you do go down the private route many CAMHS teams will discharge as many don’t allow you to mix private care with their care.

Does DS have an EHCP?

Have you looked at Yvonne Newbold’s resources and been on a NVR course?

Whilst seeking further support you should remove access to anything they could be used to hurt himself or others.

I second social care assessments, too.

@LargeLegoHaul to be honest i'm not really bothered about that since the support is non-existant. We just need the right support now.

He has been statemented since reception but the support from School is something else I need to sort out.

we have looked at NVR and CAMHs offered this but we did not feel that this would meet our needs. We already use many of the strategies and I find a lot of it is common sense. However, did feel we could still do this online via Sarah Fisher to see if it could help in any way.

We really feel that medication is our only option and we don't say that lightly. We have always said it would be a last resort and now we are at that point.

@LargeLegoHaul and Yvonne Newbould resources are great too and we use these courses a lot. Also on the Facebook page

A psychiatrist assessment can be secure via an EHCP reassessment of needs. If CAMHS can’t or won’t assess the LA would have to commission independent provision. And ongoing therapies, including MH therapies, SALT and OT, can be funded via the EHCP. You mention a statement so I presume you are in Wales or NI, similar can be funded there.

Don’t turn down the offer of NVR via CAMHS, sometimes you have to jump through hoops to be offered more targeted support.

I post all the above not saying you shouldn’t consider medication, but to have other support alongside it.

@LargeLegoHaul Thank you. We are getting additional support alongside but just wanted advice about psychiatry services. I refuse to jump through hoops to access services if I do not feel the course/training will have any benefit but understand that services are sometimes set up that way