Teenage DD

[JubileeTrifle]

She has only presented with real issues in the last year. Previously I always thought she was just shy as she got older, no issues when she was young. Waiting for a diagnosis, there are sensory and attachment issues as well.

We are just back from holiday and it was a disaster. We basically went nowhere and did nothing. She has now decided she does want to eat in public but also had issues eating off strange plates in the accommodation with her already limited diet. Leading to hunger meltdowns as well.

I snuck out a few times and she can’t cope with that so is in tears when I get back and I don’t enjoy myself when I am out anyways anymore.

DH thinks she is stressed from covid and a period when he was unwell, and that’s it. No autism and no sensory issues. He thinks she just ‘needs talking to’. We’ve been dealing with this for a year, been through CAHMS which did not help, they were great but not for her. He just wants to bring it constantly back to his illness 4 years ago that she can hardly remember and was fine then.

I feel broken, wasted money and hopes on a holiday for first time after covid. Dreading school starting because I don’t think she will go and will instead cling onto me and cry for hours. I can’t work, I can’t go anywhere. I’m trapped at home and she is so miserable so much of the time I'm heartbroken for her. It’s like she can’t enjoy herself anymore at all.

Please someone tell me there is a light in this.

And today she’s upset because we are no longer on holiday…sigh

Bumping for traffic

What diagnosis are you waiting for assessment for? Just with a lot of the issues seeming to be food related, have you considered she could be developing/have developed an eating disorder? This could potentially be alongside another diagnosis as EDs and neurodiversity are often co-morbid. What is it that she's being seeing CAMHS for/why were you referred to them?

She’s going for a neuro pathways assessment.

She seems to have issues with textures and smells to do with food now. She does eat, but only what she wants and is limited. She saw CAHMS when she stopped going to school regularly for anxiety, but they agreed CBT wasn’t for her and they suggested the neuro assessment.

The change from being in bubbles/same class has been a disaster for her and she cannot cope in school. There is a quiet classroom she can be in as much as she wants but she finds it hard to be in there as no one talks and she finds it oppressive, said it actually makes her feel worse.

She now can’t cope with crowds, noise, the cinema, lots of things on tv, subjects like war and any change in routine. There’s so much going on it’s hard to explain. There seems to be a million triggers and it’s like walking on eggshells. She’s so unhappy and wants to go to school and do well. I’m just a bit lost.

Even if CBT isn’t appropriate, what about other forms of therapy, especially indirect therapies e.g. art, music, equine etc.

Has DD had an OT assessment? Some areas don’t commission sensory OT now, but it’s still worth a referral- in some areas you can self refer. Has DD tried ear defenders/noise cancelling headphones?

Have a look at ARFID.

Does DD have an EHCP? If not, you should apply. Separate to this, if DD can’t attend school full time the LA must provide alternative education.

No OT assessment. Who would I ask about that?

I’m hearing back from the person I’m dealing with from school (she’s on holiday so I’ve told her not to contact me again) and I’m going to ask about a EHCP.
The holidays have been a pain as we lost a bit of momentum at the end of the school year at looking at what to do as CAHMS sessions finished the same week and they wanted us to go through that.

There was some talk about sending her to an alternative centre but it’s getting a place and whether it’s appropriate.

She’d like art therapy, I tried to have a look. Unfortunately I had to quit work because she was off so much or only in for a few hours. DH works so I’m entitled to nothing benefits wise. I’m worried about spending on private therapy that might not work.

She was so happy and getting on well in year 7 is soul destroying. School have been very patient. I did work in a school myself where that wouldn’t have been the case.

In some areas you can self refer to OT. If you can’t then you can ask your GP or the school to refer.

You can apply for an EHCP, IPSEA have a model letter you can use.


If DD cannot attend school full time the LA must provide an alternative education regardless of whether they claim the place they want to use is ‘full’. They should use somewhere else or provide home tutoring or hospital school, whatever meets DD’s needs. If the LA don’t provide a suitable, full time education you can force them to via Judicial Review if necessary.


Art therapy is available via CAMHS, although you are likely to have to push. If you get an EHCP it can be included in there too.

Have you applied for DLA for DD?

I was assuming I needed a official diagnosis for DLA?

No, you don’t need a diagnosis. DLA is based on needs rather than diagnosis. Do apply and use the Cerebra guide when completing the form.

This has all been really helpful thank you.