16.5 month old advice

[firsttimemum1995]

Hi there, I’m just looking for some advice on my 16.5 month old son. I must start with I am a chronic worrier, I suffer from OCD and anxiety so really don’t know if this is me worrying or my mental health playing up so really just looking for some reassurance or opinions?

Anyway, my son is a generally happy kid. Has his moments like all but he is a lovely child. People always comment on how clever he is. But I worry about him something awful. He has little to no speech, he babbles and will say mum mum mum but will communicate in other ways. He will hand me the remote if he wants something on the tv for him, he brings toys up to me for me to play with him. He understands if I say about him about to get fed as he goes up to his high chair, he will look for his dummy if I say where is your dum dum, things like that. He doesn’t point, he does clap but on his own accord. Doesn’t really wave but he has done and went through a long period of doing so then just stopped. He makes eye contact, laughs and smiles. Not really got an interest in other children, he flaps his hands, loves to watch things spin but not overly if that makes sense? Brilliant eater, amazing at stacking blocks, always met milestones on time apart from the speech side of things. His motor skills and fine motor skills are really good and he is a brilliant Walker, he runs and climbs. Doesn’t answer to his name but if I say look what mummy has he will turn around. Plays well with me as well as on his own, he can blow his trumpet and recorder. Plays with Lego well, puts a phone to his ear, puts cars and trains along the ground like he’s making them move. Last week I said to him what does the snake say and he said ssssss but he’s only did it once again since. He’s been walking since 13 months and took to it like a fish to water but he’s started to try and go on his tip toes.
not sure if he’s just curious that he can do it? He can squat to pick things up and stay in a squatting position for a while and he can also walk backwards.

Do you all think there’s anything to worry about or do you think he’s just putting his energy into other things first? I’ve said my concerns to my parents, partner, other people around me and they’ve said they think he’s doing well and some people comment on how great he is at the things he can do. I’m a chronic googler and hate that about myself, I wish it didn’t exist tbh lol it’s just not good for me at all.

HELP

Sorry I’ll just add he plays keekaboo, he will hide behind a curtain to do so and pops out, he uses a spoon to eat his food and will give us some if we ask!

Hi,

I would say he is doing amazing, all children have different rates of development anyway but he sounds like he is doing some lovely things. I can only go of my experience with my children ASD and NT. I wouldn’t focus on speech too much as even with autism some children develop speech and then regress and some children have brilliant speech. My child is a little younger than yours 13.5 months and doesn’t smile at me, no eye contact, doesn’t respond to name, doesn’t understand any words, doesn’t kiss or cuddle, doesn’t play, has many stims and just watch’s tv or spins things and because she will not look at me,doesn’t pass me things, I can’t engage her in play and learning and she’s still not walking, doesn’t point or wave, but claps. My oldest (8) who has autism was similar to my daughter, although he could put phone up to ear and was affectionate. Your son sounds like my middle child who does not have autism, only difference is her speech was more developed at that age and she responded to her name all the time. My nephew sounds similar too and he just turned 3, his speech picked up a few months ago and now won’t stop talking and we are all amazed at how many words he picked up in a short amount of time. Also my son is a toe Walker, Does he toe walk majority of the time or only now and again? Lots of children not on the spectrum toe walk too more often than not it’s only a little bit but some NT can toe walk all the time. Hope this settles your mind a little.

Hi @MS261996. Thank you so much for getting back to me. Since posting my wee one has did all the things I worried about other than pointing so I’m not worried anymore. Thank you for your reassurance!
My cousins partner is a nursery nurse and I contacted her and she assured me there’s nothing to worry about, just like you said! A sigh of relief but even if he was on the spectrum it wouldn’t change a thing.
She asked me for a list of what he can do and what he can’t do and when I saw the lists the things he couldn’t do was slim compared to what he can and I could have kicked myself for ever doubting him! I hate to be the mum focusing on what he can’t do, rather than what he can! It’s definitely gave me the kick I needed and changed my whole attitude!

Ever since having him I’ve struggled with mental health terribly. Nothing to do with him, he had a dairy allergy and was in and out of hospital as a baby. I was made out to be a paranoid first time mum and no one would listen to me that he was as ill as what he was! We finally got a diagnosis and put on neocate but it definitely effected me because no one would listen and now almost 17 months later I’m still in my head and struggling.

Again, thank you so much for replying to me. It means so much x

That’s lovely to hear! Your very welcome. I was so young when I had my first, I didn’t have a clue about any of this. I’m sorry you had a hard time when he was a baby, it shouldn’t be that way. Hope your mental health improves and you get all the support you deserve X