AD/HD in girls. Anyone with experience? Need reassurance please....

[Aero]

Hyperactivity not present. I have a thread here. Really feeling crappy about it and totally in-exprienced in SN. These threads move so quickly and I feel like I'm constantly bumping, but I just want to know I'm not alone in this and I know I'm not, I just feel I am.

I would also look into a mild asd as well Aero. You find that usually without the hyperactivity. What other symptoms does your dd have?
You will find it hard getting many people on here with girl's that have that type of sn.
Sorry just didn't want to ignore your thread.

Sorry no advice about ADHD. My daughter (5) has AS and also has some really big issues with concentration. I totally uderstand what you mean about feeling so alone ((((hugs)))).

But at the moment all you can do it is sit tight and wait for the appointment. Tbh i found this the worse part!! the not knowing was for worse than the knowing IYSWIM. With me it actually became an obsession, all i seemed to do was look things up online. Hang on in there, it does get easier, Honest

Thanks bh and tcd. The waiting is awful. The more I read about AD/HD in girls (just got a book from amazon and another is on the way), the more I'm convinced that that is what she is suffering from. I'm sure they will look into asd too BH. I've not given any name to what I suspect to the GP, mainly because I want them to assess her for all that is relevant to her symptoms. She has problems with focus/concentration, yet when something grabs her interest (ie art, creativity), she can stick at it for much longer and with fuller attention. She forgets things, or where she's put things, then feels she's stupid and hates herself for it. She has a very low self-esteem. She is having more and more tantrums as time goes on as she gets so frustrated with herself as she realises she's different from other children. She says/does things which are inappropriate and has no real clue that they are, then is embarrassed when things are explained to her. she cannot take humiliation on any level - being told off in front of others is more than she can cope with. She is a total fidget and waiting turn is a problem for her (trampolining had to be ditched as the waiting was impossible for her turn, yet she loves bouncing). She would fidget, move around, go to the loo constantly then would be embarrassed when they tell her off for not sitting patiently and quietly, etc, etc. She makes friends fairly easily, but cannot always keep them as she becomes annoying and friends tire of her, or she'll say somthing which will alienate herself from them, not have any idea why they get fed up with her. She is a caring, compassionate and sensitive child though and kind to others, sympathising with them if they seem sad or whatever iyswim.
Learning is difficult for her as her focus is poor, hence homwork is a problem for her. She can never do any of it on her own and gives up at the first hurdle of anything which requires any degree of sustained mental effort. We have a lot of tears and stress at homework times and total meltdowns follow as she thinks she is stupid. This morning she had a huge tantrum as she didn't want a bath. This is relatively minor, but th fallout was huge. Then it went into how she hates drying off as it takes her so long and it transpired that she's worried about starting school swimming. Everyone is faster than her and she gets left behind. Thre is more, but I could be here all day. I can't believe it's taken seven years for us to suspect there might be a medical problem.

Aero, After what you have just writen i also think that you should have a look at Aspergers. Like i said in my previous post my daughter also really struggles with her concentration at school, we have actually just completed the conners questionaire for ADHD (we have done one and so has school) But our pead has only done this to rule it out. She actually feels that DD has just AS with no other co morbids. You see there are many conditions that overlap each other but alot of the info you read online is based on boys. Its very hard for AS and ADHD to be picked up on in girls, so dont be hard on yourself for not picking up on things sooner.

I think the reason why we picked up on things very early with my DD is because she had major problems mixing with her peers, she would actually cringe if they got to close to her (this is now much better ). She also has very little eye contact.

This site would be worth a look at, as there is alot of info about differant over lapping condition.

www.autism-help.org/index.htm

And also this info by Tony Attwood about how AS effect girls differantly

www.aspergerfoundation.org.uk/infosheets/ta_girls.pdf

Sorry neither of these are not proper links, im hopeless with anything techy, and unfortunatley DD had gone swimming with DH .

have to say i agree with you tcd. nothing in your post reminds me of adhd aero but it does strike chords with me re some kind of asd. aspergers and attention problems go hand in hand usually (although some children are very withdrawn). my own dd has a dx of adhd but tbh i do feel it is really part of the aspergers than actual adhd iykwim

This is a list of symptoms for AD/HD I've taken from another website. Dd ticks every box on the inattentive list.

1. being easily distracted from a task,lesson, or conversation

1. difficulty keeping the mind on any one thing

1. getting bored with a task before it?s completed

1. skipping over details

1. making careless mistakes

1. difficulty listening when directly addressed

1. difficulty following instructions or finishing tasks

1. disorganization and forgetfulness

She also ticks over half of the boxes on the impulsive list:

1. fidget and squirm or have trouble staying seated at all

1. move around constantly, often running or climbing inappropriately

1. have difficulty with quiet, sedentary activities

1. talk excessively

1. blurt out answers before questions are completed

1. speak tactlessly or inappropriately

1. exhibit difficulty waiting

1. interrupt or intrude on others

That's why I am thinking AD/HD, but I'm aware other conditions can be present alongside.

One thing that does worry me is explaining to her why we're going to the hospital and telling the paed her symptoms with hr presnt. She's perfectly coherent, so what should I tell her beforehand.

you could ask if dd could wait outside? i know people that have done that. take someone with you to sit with dd while you go in at first and talk.

That's a good idea - my sister might be able to come as it's (conveniently) on her day off. I've alrady arrangd for Granny to look after ds2 and am hoping someone from school will be able to collect ds1 for me. Dh might be able to get time off, but he'll want to come in with me if he does.

do a search on sensory processing disorder or sensory integration dysfunctions symptoms and see if they match. Children with this often have similar symptoms of asd/adhd but do not fit either properly.

Thanks emandjules. Have never hard of either of these, but will definitely do a search. I don't know what it is, but it is something. Following this mornings tantrum though, we had a better day and dd enjoyed ds2's birthday party.

we went through the whole process by health professionals that there is something wrong with dd (5). It was only when i looked up spd/sid that it all fitted. I am not saying that your dd has this but it has so many various symptoms, it is worth a look

How old is she?

look at this

Aero sensory processing disorder isn't usually on it's own. It does go side by side with things such as asd/aspergers/adhd/dyspraxia etc just thought you should bear that in mind when researching!
If ever you want to CAT me please do. Seems like we are having our own private convo on here.
I have been there though and I feel for you. believe me the not knowing is the hardest part imo. Once you know what you are dealing with you can get the help the need and kind of move on x

Thanks mandjules for the link. I had a look at that website last night, but the symptoms don't match as closely as AD/HD symptoms. Some of the things listed apply to dd, but lots don't. I guess it's just playing the waiting game for the assessment and then waiting again for them to analyse their findings.

I spoke one of her old playgroup leaders today (ds2 goes there now) and she's going to write me down some notes from recollection regarding how dd was at playgroup. I've found her old folder which she left with which I'll take in for her tomorrow. It makes for interesting reading. A lot of the comments made then relate to many of the problems she now faces.

x posts BH. Thanks for that. The waiting is the PITA about all this. Am going to make another appt with the SENCO, as she's very familiar with the medics dd will be seeing and I'm hoping sh can explain the assessment process to me a bit before we go.

What should I tell dd about the appt? She has no idea we're looking into this.

That's a hard one. Sorry how old is dd again? I think you said 7?

Yes, she's 7.5 and fully coherant (just can't control what comes out of her mouth sometimes).

HMMM that is a hard one. My own dd has been in and out of all sorts of places from about 2 so hasn't known any better iykwim

I might just say that you have noticed she has difficulties with xy and z and you are going in to see what you can all do to make things easier for dd.

My own dd copes very well with explanations like that and like your dd is very coherent and understands everything.

That'd probably work and I'll ask the lovley SENCO too. I haven't mentioned the SULP programme to her either and that's due to begin next week. I think she will enjoy and benefit from the small group work involved with that though, so I don't think she'll be freaked out.

Blossomhill (sorry for this hyjack Aero)

As you say you DD is very coherent, does your DD know that she is has AS?.

As you know my DD is only 5, and is not yet aware that she is any differant to her peers(but they are ).

At the moment we just seem to be plodding along she was Dxd last August (just b4 her 5th birthday)so it is still early days for us. I actually dont really want there to be a moment where we sit her down and tell her she has AS (not that i plan on it being kept from her obviously). I have started to explain thing to her in dribs and draps so to speak. For example tonight she was chatting away to me about a dvd that i have just ordered for her, and she managed to keep eye contact with me for the entire 5 min conversation. I actually had tears in my eyes by the time she had finised . I then went on to tell her that i know she doesnt find it easy to look at peoples eyes (i also told her that its ok if she doesnt want to) and that i am very proud of her for letting me look at her pretty eyes.

They thing is im never sure if im doing the right thing or not IYKWIM.

Sorry im rambling , i guess i would just be really nice to her about how you have handled things with your DD as your further along the line to us.

Aero,

Im not sure if this will help but i told my DD that we were going for an assessment with the health visitors. Like you i also have a younger child who had just had her 18mth check up with our HV just 2 days before.

No worries TCD. I'll probably take advice from the senco and just not make it out to be anything too heavy at this stage. She already feels different. I'm sure there will be a way of gently explaining things to her, but no point in making much of it before dx I guess. If they tell me there is no problem, that would be the worst thing as she'd then not get the educational help I feel she needs, which is my worst fear. Not that I want her to have the problems at all, of course, but she does - she definitely does. If they don't see it and dx her, I don't know what I'll do.

As her mother Aero you know your DD better than anyone. I knew there was something differant with my DD from very early on. It was a releive to finally get the answers.

As for explaining things to your DD i think you will find that it will be a releive for her to have a reason for her differances. I have spoken to adults with various conditions and for the ones that werent given a Dx until adulthood, they have all said that if they have known what made them they way they are as a child, it would have made things easier for them to cope with.

Its a tuff position that your in at the moment, but it will get easier !!.

Thank-you TCD. I spoke with the SENCO again briefly this morning and she assures me that dd will be working with another adult whilst I talk with the doctors about her symptoms. She's also advised me to take someone with me if I can to help take in all that is said, esp if I hear somthing that makes my thoughts go off in a different tangent etc. Good advice I think. She's also taken a copy of dd's pre-school folder which gives good indication that symptoms have been evident from a very early age.

I'm just going to tell dd that we're going to the clinic for an assessment to se how she's getting along and to see what we can do to help make things easier for her at school.

can i join in?

I have a 6.5 year old dd - diagnosed with dyspraxia and possibly on asd spectrum, yet to be diagnosed. I find it a total struggle expecially to find anyone with similar issues. all seem to be boys, no mothers of girsl anywhere. and girls as peers - at school - much crueller and quicker to spot the most subtle difference. Feel for you all, I too get very lonely and confused by it.