Support needed for toddler

[PinkLem0nade]

Hi mum's I'm really looking for some help and advice with my toddler.
She turned 2 last month and has had a delayed development since she was born.
Due to covid I wasn't able to get any support from anyone.

My HV has told me she shows early signs of autism but she's too young to be diagnosed just yet.

I've registered at various nurseries so hoping to hear back about a place in Sept.

My daughter doesn't answer to her name she doesn't know any social skills or communicate by words.

I tried my best by taking her to playgroups or playing with her at home but she gets so overwhelmed with other kids she ends up crying and wants to cuddle.

I'm having such a tough time finding a nursery because everyone that sees my child says she will need further support and she falls under the SEN category it's just annoying when a nursery professional tells me that but my own HV hasn't officially put that on a letter etc (I'm still waiting to hear back from my HV)

In the meanwhile is there anything else I can do to help her communicate a bit more? I have tried books, baby videos, singing etc nothing is working.

I've read online that autism is genetic and I was a quiet child but nothing was ever diagnosed with me in the early 90s

I'm new to learning about all of this so I'm sorry if I offend anyone with this thread.

Can anyone help or advice further?

Thanks x

Hi hun,

Can I start by saying how sorry I am to hear that you have not received much support during COVID for your DD's issues. Can only imagine how stressful that has been for you.

I'm the mum of a 3 yo DS with severely delayed speech, we've just had the diagnosis that he is on the autism spectrum. He's nearly 4 years old but he's only just started talking in very simple sentences. However, when we started working with him intensively (in Sept 2021) he only had 10 words, so he's come a long long way (and can't tell you how proud I am of him!). Like your DD, not responding to his name, waving/pointing, no words etc. at 2 years of age. He has had speech therapy but only for the last six months, from when he was well over 3 years old. So definitely great that you are looking at this so early with your DD.

Here are some of the resources that have helped us with his communication:

• An Early Start for your Child with Autism (www.amazon.co.uk/Early-Start-Your-Child-Autism/dp/160918470X) - really really great book which gives a bunch of strategies for play based learning. Can't recommend this one enough
• It takes two to talk (www.amazon.co.uk/Takes-Two-Talk-Practical-Children/dp/0921145195)
• Kelli Myer's youtube channel is amazing: https://www.youtube.com/c/TheSpeechScoop. I've watched so many of her videos over so much, she's really great
• Flash cards - can't remember the brand but they are like these www.amazon.co.uk/Special-Communication-Speech-Verbal-Children/dp/B08CFNDHYY

Just a tip - I would also video your DD trying to speak on a regular basis. With our son, progress has been slow at times and so having videos from six months ago where he was mute or only saying a word or two, to compare to where he is now, has been a way of boosting spirits for us.

One other thing - you mentioned that your DD has meltdowns when there are other kids around? You might want to have a read about sensory issues as well whilst you are thinking about communication. Many children with autism also present with sensory needs, and often times, it is difficult for them to focus and concentrate (hence learn) until they have had those needs met. You might want to keep any eye and see if she is particularly sensitive to light, noise, smells, particular tastes, etc. I can really recommend the book Raising a Sensory Smart Child if you want to understand more about sensory needs as well.

Sending lots of hugs hun - so sorry that you and your DD haven't had the support that you need from the HV. Keep pushing! Your DD is so lucky to have you in her corner x

We got an independent speech therapist for our boy. VERVE techniques have been great for him, he still doesn’t talk but he’s much more communicative.

Definitely agree with @tasteslikeburning recommendation for An Early Start for Your Child With Autism. I read it when my DS was 2.5 and wish I'd read it a year earlier. Loads of great tips to get the communication ball rolling in a way that's fun and rewarding for them.

I also ended up doing a home-based programme based on the Early Start Denver Model (i.e. the above book) overseen by an ABA consultant (they do much more than simply drilling kids in table activities nowadays and the ESDM isn't technically ABA I believe). At 3.5 he still uses a lot of echolalia at times but he is rapidly moving towards more original speech and using full sentences, referring to people by name, his play has expanded, etc etc. I feel a BILLION times more positive about the future compared to the fear I had of the unknown when he was 2-2.5yo. He is happy, doing so well, learning new things and impressing me every day.

Stay positive - it's great you're learning how best to support your DD and great you're doing it so early. As her mum you are uniquely placed to have an enormous impact on her growth and development, even while you're waiting for the professionals to get their admin processes to speak to each other :)